Pity

Pity, oh pity! I am a point in life now where I am doing something that I hadn´t exactly planned to do.

I had started my degree just like any odd person in my class, knowing that at the end of  five years, I would be the profession that the degree promised to make out of me. There was just a tiny little hitch. The degree also required something out of me. Something that hadn´t appeared on the text describing the course and its requirement. I had qualified gradewise and was a fairly decent student. But what it required of me was some initial talent, and a certain character to pass for the degree: I had to be strong and Confident, even while doing things that I had never ever done Before. Anyways, as it is, I will be graduating with the theoretical degree instead. Which is not bad, not bad at all! In fact, it is something that better suits my ability and my characteristics.

 But see, here´s the Little secret: sometimes, just sometimes, when I see my old classmates becoming something that I had originally set out to be, I feel sad, I feel angry, I feel frustrated and I feel sorry. Sorry for myself.

 And see the situation sucks, and I just wanna be sad, and mad at the whole craziness of it.

 But at the same time, if there is anything in the World that sucks even more, that annoys me even more, is when people pity me, when they feel sad for me!

 Gah! That´s like the worst feeling in the World.

Cause it´s like when people pity you, they Place you on a level much much lower than their´s. If someone is feeling sorry for me, it´s cause they Think they have it much better.

 I guess the pity of others really gets to me, since it makes me realize that if others Think that my situation is bad, then *gosh* it must be really really bad!

 So dear pity, dear pity, what might my solution to you be?

I guess it is to simply let you be.

To simply just focus on what is going well for me, what is working for me, stuff that I am proud of, stuff that I am enjoying; and let others also simply be.