nostalgia

there are moments like this where I can't find what I want to hear. I can't find what I think I need to be fulfilled. I'm a special case. Always living in the past but worried about the future, unwilling to face what's in front of me.  I'm standing at the crossroads among everything, protecting myself, because if I choose the present or the future I am unaware of what I will face. I take comfort in knowing the pain I had. I greet it like an old friend and miss it when it's gone because its visits were so long. I don't know how to live without it anymore. I get curious. I want to know what the other paths contain. I'll do anything for a simple glimpse of what awaits. which in the end is worth nothing, when I can't let go. One hand is shielding myself while the other is holding on to you.