Thanks, but No Thanks

Chapter-3

6 Months Later

Somewhere in Chandigarh

"Listen, I don't want to pile on. So let me just say this once and for all." I could sense by the way he is waving his hands that he hasn't got anything pleasant to say. He always had this body language when he's nervous, with his brown eyes darting sideways to avoid eye contact and his long fingers tangled up to avoid fidgeting.

"Suven, what's wrong?" I asked, with a concerned look on my face. I should be concerned, my fiance is nervous. But why am I so indifferent? That's not a sign of a caring wife-to-be.

'You are incapable of love' my dad's words echoing in my head right now. Just ignore it.

"You should know that I've thought a lot about this" Suven finally looked into my eyes and continued, "You are an amazing girl, really. You have been so good to me all this while. But...."he drifted off. Is that what I think it is? Did he just use the past tense for our relationship? Oh my God, is he breaking up with me? I interrupted him, "Wait, whatever you said before the word 'but' is horse shit. Come to the point." I don't have to act concerned anymore. What the hell is he saying!

He startled. He straightened up a bit and began the dreaded speech, "God, why are you always so direct? Okay, fine. You know that I am not in love with you, right now I mean." You? You are not in love? And here I thought I was guilty of not loving you back. Suven was still speaking,"But that's okay because we have got a lot of time till the wedding to get to know each other more intimately. However, no matter how much I try, I don't think I can ever be in love with you." Wow, that's deep.

"You are 95% the woman I want. You've got everything I want in my life-partner. You are smart, intelligent, independent and you know how to drive (he chuckles nervously), but it's that 5% that will never let this work between us. That 5% is the love factor you know. And I don't think I can do that. I'm sorry." He took a deep sigh and broke the eye contact. Okay, let this sink in. My fiance just told me he cannot love me, ever and is calling off our wedding. But why am I not feeling heartbroken right now? I should be numb, infuriated and definitely not happy about this.

"Is this a joke?" I laughed despite myself. Why the hell am I smiling? What is wrong with me? I should be devastated.

I searched for an answer in his eyes and realized this was not a joke. He is serious. This is actually happening. I should get a clarity of the situation, "Are you sure? Do you want to talk about it? Hey, I know we all get second thoughts. It's a life-altering decision. I get nervous too......" He cut me off by putting his hands on my shoulders. This time he looked deep into my eyes, "I know this is tough. I know you are hurting, but it's the truth. I don't want to drag this anymore. I'm sorry but it's over." Okay, the situation is very clear right now. Curb that smile, girl. This is not a good news, atleast not according to everyone except you.

I just stare at him blankly. "Are you still in love with her? Is that why.......?" the words left my mouth before I could stop it. His arms dropped from my shoulders and he simply nodded. I knew it!

"I really hope you guys see this through. And don't forget to invite me to your wedding." I said and winked. He smiled lazily. "So it's all good?" he said with a genuine smile. Yes, Suven, it's more than good, it's perfect! "Yes Suven, it's all good. I'm getting late. I need to go. Take care Suven, it was really great to know you. Bye", I extended my hand for a goodbye. Instead, he pulled me for a hug and whispered in my ear, "It was great to know you too. I'm really sorry for all the mess. Take care little girl."

Here I am, smiling while I drive back to home. Because now I know I never wanted this wedding as well. He called it off, saving me the trouble to do it myself.

When I first met Suven, I immediately fell for his boyish charm. His tall, lean figure, brown eyes and his sense of humor, just blew me away. And before I know, we had said yes to this arrange marriage even though we both hated the concept. Actually, it was the dislike for idea of cliche couples and arranged marriages that bonded us.

However, within a month of knowing him I knew we are not compatible. Our lifestyles, friends, hobbies and even thoughts on sex were too wayward. I knew it is going to take strenuous efforts to make this marriage work, but since I had already said yes, I was willing to strive towards it.

The wedding date is fixed for six months from now. And both families are ecstatic about this event. Me and Suven had shared too many laughs seeing the crazy plannings going on. But I guess that was it, all we shared were few laughs, nothing more. I could never feel any emotional connection. We were two different people, somehow stuck together in a typical Indian Wedding drama where none of us actually wanted to marry, not just yet.

While driving home I am replaying in mind what just happened. Now what? My wedding has been called off. I'm no more engaged. How do I tell this news to everyone? Shouldn't I be crying right now? Maybe I should get a drink. That will help me vent out. I pulled over in front the supermarket.

"Nice choice of Wine madam. Special occasion?" the twenty-something brown-eyed cashier asked flirtatiously. I answered flatly, "Yeah, my fiancé just dumped me. Keep the change", I winked and left the store.

"What! Are you sure?" My mother's voice is so loud, it's tearing the speaker of phone. But this was an expected overly-dramatic response. Why can't you handle this like adults, mom? I thought as I downed my third glass of Wine. I must not lose my calm right now. I need my parents to understand that this is over for real. "Did you say anything out-of-line? I know you, you must have screwed this. Can't you be a responsible girl for once?", my mom's anger is in full swing right now. Mom, I am drinking responsibly, isn't that enough for being a responsible girl? "Mom, I'm hurt as well. But there's nothing we can do about this now. I tried my best ma, but I'm sorry. The wedding's off." I disconnected and turned up the music. It's okay girl, it was never meant to be. You know you still think about someone else, and now you are free to do so without feeling guilty about it. Cheers to that!