Why No More

I just need a moment.

Just give me a minute.

Leave me to sit,

Where I can think and breathe

Because now I'm feeling myself sink.

I've been treading

Trying to keep my head above water.

I'm dreading the failure

Of being pulled under.

I finally broke surface,

Even caught a breath full!

Yet, I'm gurgling with a lungful

And suffocating on these feelings.

You don't understand me now.

You never did then.

I've made it this far on my own.

But now I'm going back there again!

I'm sorry to disappoint,

You think it's hard on you?

Yeah me too.

But imagine how I feel?

No. this can't be real.

Why? I've been pushing so hard!

But now,

I'm being shoved back even harder.

I was trying to stand

But now I feel I'm tripped up,

With this blasphemous brand!

Yes I know.

It's too overwhelming.

I've heard it said before.

You can go ahead and leave.

Ignore these things you've seen.

I will bother you, nevermore.

No longer,

can you handle the ways I am.

I'm sorry for the constant prodding of my pain.

It's my demon to sleep with.

I didn't like feeling so worn out,

And so I shoved him down.

Buried and forgotten.

But he's dug up,

Relentlessly coming for me.

And I'm willing to lay with him

I'll let him take me.

and we will both be rotting.

Only, if it means, I won't have to be devoured, furthermore.

Neither will you have to ride this descent anymore.

There.

I've thought.

And choked on my breath.

I'm left to sit with no more moments.

I can't stand another minute.

And have no more life left to sink.

Ready to complete my sleep.