It’s been a while.

I broke again today.

I thought I was ok, I had been holding up just fine for quite some time now.

But something happened and the the final blow was struck to the thin sheet of glass holding me together.

I broke.

At first I didn’t realize because I had gotten used to being happy, but once the first tear drop fell i knew what was coming.

Then the wave of sadness hit me like a sledgehammer and I fell to the ground, my knees slamming hard.

The first sob was slow and quite leaving me to to wonder if I could claw myself out of this feeling before it took hold.

But then the things that I had been pushing away and holding back all came rushing at me at once leaving me to cry harder and harder.

I’ve had mental breakdowns before, but this was different, this was the storm that had been building up after months and months of sunshine.

I knew I wouldn’t be the same after this one for a long while.

So instead of fighting it I let go, I cried so hard I couldn’t hear anything on the outside.

No one could help me at this point, I was alone on the journey through my own personal storm.

Alone.

Broke.

Afraid of how hard it will be to put myself back together this time.

But in the end I pick myself up glueing most of the pieces back together.

Until the day I brake again.