No Way Out

Corralled In these dark eight hours,

I cannot sleep,

How many more times must I count,

the same herd of sheep?

Hounded by the silence,

My thoughts cannot be heard.

My heart races at an alarming rate,

But if I’m being honest,

I lie awake,

In contemplation of my fate.

I can’t handle this.

I feel lost at sea.

With this pain you can not see,

Nor, can it be hand held,

Yet, I’ve been told,

I need to paddle,

But I feel nothing tangible.

So my mind is fishing for ideas,

Bobbing the afterlife in my head,

I’m treading in this black market,

Trying to catch a break,

Am I too selfish?

Yes...

I need to make a living,

For only myself.

I need to wade against the current sea,

I can’t spend energy,

on anything else.

If I splurge,

I won’t be able to save myself.

I shouldn’t purchase a one-way ticket,

It’s nothing financially,

I just can’t hurt this family.

I won’t own that pain in their chest.

It’d put them into cardiac arrest,

If they’d have to be making payments,

for me in a vest.

It’s perfectly fitting!

For others, may be way too angry,

And want to see me pay.

So instead,

I invest into a two-way,

For my soul to seek asylum!

It’s only right as rain,

Since this runaway train is my sole property.