Embracing a new chapter lightheartedly
Dear Chest Box,
Everytime i pass by you, i try to ignore these feelings. Everyday i wanted to avoid you, you hold inside almost half of my life. It's been what? Seven years. Seven years of agony that you are still in my bedroom staring back at me. And up to know i'm still scared to open you. You held memories of my once very happy life.I know i needed to do this. I kept telling "i'll do it tomorrow" the tomorrow became next week, next month to next year. I haven't noticed that it's been seven years already. But now i think i'm ready. I need to let go. I can't keep blaming myself over something i have no control of.
I slowly opened you today and i felt nauseous.. Pictures greeted me immediately. Bringing me from the past i kept brushing off for years. We held in 14 years of burden and pain. I saw pictures of him, dried flowers from our monthsaries and anniversaries, our book of quotes, his perfume, love letters, everything --- the pain was too much to bear. The love we had was raw and real. But i had to let go now because i can't move forward without having to let him go. I am helping you too chest box, you've carried all the weight--literally. Thank you for keeping them for me. And i promise, that i'm going to fill you again with happy memories but this time, it'll last. And i'm hoping by the time someone opens you up again, it'll be my children,going down my memory lane feeling happy that i kept our memories inside you.
Love,
Ema/Ishi