the gun you handed me that day.
I stuttered once you pulled your hand away, I wanted to speak but your one step back uneasy stare took my words away, you were looking for a way out I was trying to prove my worth. You wanted nothing more to do with me, with us and I couldn't let you leave or I guess, I just didn't want you to...I'm sorry you had to see me like this now from the day we met I didn't think I'd never see you again but things happen and people go by, and time well, time changes darling I drew my own chalked out map for you. You knelt down and checked my pulse you could still hear me breathe but I was declared dead by you because you were looking into my eyes I still remember when we met you loved me so much it hurt I don't know if that was a good sign or a bad one but you did promise me I'd never hurt again you'd always stay not walk the other way. I guess your promises were as good as your word I picked up the gun the other night remembered all the awful conversations we had I couldn't remember the good ones because I tucked them safely in bed at half past 9...I opened the chamber and filled in your despair and my misery, your words and my apologies and just when I was about to pull the trigger I closed my eyes and saw you look at me for the very first time I felt myself smile.... I guess their right when they said hellos can sound an awful lot like goodbyes Xx