a ny mo r e

Then:

Used to the smell of leather in a white truck.

Well slept.

Worried about grades but doing fine.

Used to waking up at six am all the time.

Then:

Invested in home remedies and competition.

Didn’t understand anything.

Never cared about food.

Didn’t need medication.

Then:

Could look at a bottle of wine without being upset.

Wasn’t inspired to die.

Wasn’t.

Now:

Is.

Doesn't want to admit anything.

Can’t run eight miles to save my life.

Anything but well slept.

Now:

Detached and unsure.

Quiet.

Works until there is nothing left to do.

Now:

Stares at blank pages.

Knows nothing.

Needs a new life.