Alone

"Do you want to be alone?" his voice echoes through the moonlit room as specks of dust spiral.

"yes." i take a deep breath to calm my beating heart. This war we are in, is not good for my soul. This war is not good for anybodys soul. i tilt my head back to look at the ceiling. why won't he leave?

"why do you like it?"

his voice echoes again.

"i... don't want to-"

"i always liked it.... no one could hurt me. i couldn't hear anybody's cruel words. it was like my safty bubble, if that makes sense. I stopped trying to be alone when-"

he takes in a shaky breath and clears his throat, "when my own thoughts would tear me down.... and now being alone for too long.... makes me believe for some crazy reason that no one will come back." i hear him sniffle and i imagine him crying right behind me.

"why i like it?" i repeat, "i dont really know i guess... maybe it is the peace of being alone that i like. sure, my thoughts pick at me, but there is no war when i am alone. no fights. no pain. no tears. no blood." i turn around and spot him gripping his own arms tightly. i should have know he would get upset. something like this would tear him to shreds. he nods and painfully takes a slow breath. but, like always, his composure melts, and he breaks right in front of me.

"sorry" he chokes out lowering himself to the cold stone floor. tears begin to fall of his pained face. i walk over slowly not wanting to intrude in his space, worry filling every crevice of my mind. i kneel down and carefully place my hand on his back. he stiffens but all he does is sob. he was right, his thoughts do tear him down. i move my hand up and down to soothe him, but the sobs just became worse. i was warned about his sensitivity. i wish i was better at dealing with this. i wrapped both of my arms around him from lack of other ideas. he grips the back of my shirt with his shaking hands. he continues to sob. something wet rolls down my face. tears? i dont cry. why am i crying? the person in my arms seems to somehow notice and i can hear through his violent sobs, "why- are- y-you-c-cry-crying?"

i chuckle under my breath as my tears drip off my chin, "i don't know"