To Have and Lost
"I love you Kylie.. Always and forever will.. And I'm sorry.."
Those were the last words I heard from Steve before I fell asleep. We made love all night and I was too tired to even comprehend what he said before I drifted off into my deep slumber.
*****
I looked out the window to find that it started to snow. Winter's coming. My most favorite season. Most people find it weird, but it makes me happy to see everything covered in that white flurry of snow.
I poured my coffee onto my mug and started to turn on my laptop. Steve must be waiting. Being in a long distance relationship isn't easy but Steve and I work real hard on it. We met through a mutual friend, Maddie, when he came here in Iceland for a business trip. We exchanged cards and that was the last time I saw him. After a few months I got an email from him and from then on we emailed back and forth constantly. The friendship bloomed and decided to take the risk and be in a relationship. We are now on our three year relationship and I couldn't ask for more. Steve is perfect for me.
"Hey babe! I was wondering when are you gonna call." Steve said as soon as he answered my skype call.
"Sorry love, i woke up late and was caught up from the sight outside, here take a look!" I said happily as I angled the computer screen to my window.
"Oh wow that's lovely! I know how you love snow. But I have more good news for you babe."
"What is it then?"
"I took a leave for a week. I'm coming over there to be with you."
I couldn't help but jump up and down from my seat. I will finally get to be with him. Touch him, cuddle and make love to him.
"Well I'm glad I'm not the only happy and excited one!" Steve said laughing. "God Kylie, I love you so much"
"And I love you more! Oh gosh I have to clean up and buy food supplies. When are you coming?"
"In two days. You better get ready babe, It's going to be the best week of our life. I'll make sure about that."
"Oh stop it. Whether it's just skype, my day is always great whenever we talk."
"I love you. Remember that yeah? "
"I love you too"
"I have to go babe. I need to settle everything at work before I leave. I'll call you when I'm at the airport. I love you!"
I ended the skype call and proceeded to clean the house. I can go grocery shopping tomorrow for food supplies.
****
I woke up hearing someone banging on my door. I looked at my clock and read four o'clock a.m. Who the hell bangs a door at this unholy hour? It must be Mr. Gomez my drunkard next door neighbor. He must've mistaken his door from mine. I covered my head with my pillow but the banging didn't stop. I grumpily stood up from my bed and opened the door to be greeted by my amazing boyfriend with his dazzling smile,
"For awhile there I thought nobody was home. I was knocking for hours babe. You sleep like a stone." Steve said laughing while engulfing me in his arms.
"Hmpf. You said you're coming after two days!" I muffled through his neck.
"Do you want me to come back instead?"
"Ha.ha. Very funny" i said lightly slapping his arms.
He then carried me into his arms and went inside my bedroom.
"I wish it's always like this. I get to go home with you waiting."
"Aren't you the sweetest? We'll get to that in the future. For now just kiss me." I said while looking into his beautiful eyes. I noticed it was of different shades of browns and greens with specks of gold.
He kissed me passionately. The longing was obvious as his kiss deepened and my body exploded with love and passion. I love this man with every bone that I have. As we slowly took off our clothes.
He looked into my eyes and said
"I love you very much."
"I know. You always say it babe."
"And I mean it. I want you to know that I love you so much and you mean the world to me."
"Then show me."
We made love til' morning. And spent the rest of the week doing everything together. He showed me how much he loved me and made me the happiest girl i could ever be. His last day was spent inside my house doing nothing but talk,laugh,cuddle and remembering every detail of each other.
"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow." I said while nuzzling on his chest. I could never get tired of his scent.
"I know. I'm sad too. But atleast I got the chance to be with you. It may not be long, but atleast we had the chance right? And that's the most important thing."
"I know. It's just sad to think that after being at my happiest. I will be back to my normal routine again. I'll miss you love."
"I'm sorry. And i'll miss you more. You know that even if i'm not here with you, you're always in my mind and heart"
"You're so cheesy." I said laughing.
His last night was a night to remember. He made sure it was if not the best, the greatest memory of my life.
"I love you Kylie.. Always and forever will.. And I'm sorry.."
Those were the last words I heard from Steve before I fell asleep. We made love all night and I was too tired to even comprehend what he said before I drifted off into my deep slumber.
***
When I woke up the next morning, the bed was cold and empty. I padded my way downstairs to look for Steve only to find an empty house. I looked everywhere but no sign of him. I called out his name but only greeted by an echo. I tried to dial his phone number but it was out of reach. He might have boarded the plane already. It bothered me that he didn't wake me up to say goodbye.
I made breakfast and turned on the television to watch the morning news.
" The plane RJW0421 from Ontario Canada going to Iceland that crashed a week ago was found in the middle of the ocean. It appears that there were no survivors. The list of passengers that were identified includes: Ricter Perry, Shannon Robertson, Steve Albert, Iris Nicholson... If you know any of these people please contact...."
Steve Albert. Steve. My Steve. Impossible. He was just here.
I ran around the house to look for signs of him. Anything to prove he was here. His shirt, perfume, aftershave. Anything. But I was only greeted with a cold and empty house.
I couldn't breath. It was like the air was sucked out from me. I couldn't even move. Everything is a blurry. Everything is spinning. Until everything went black.