Black Envy

I envy the dark, the nothingness, the numbness of the empty space. The corpse left and the spirit free. Even if there is no heaven, no "peace", the nothingness would be the better place. I envy death, the successful suicide. The hollow location my soul can breath. No more pain, no more worry. No disappointing, no weight of life hanging in the balance. Release of my emotions into nothing. My depression worsens as I hear about death, not because of the pain of a person lost, but because that is the one thing I want most, and cannot get.