a 3 minute rant

his mind fell into the hollow cave he called love once again, hoping for a different outcome this time.

but he knew after a while his mind would attempt to will his heart to stop beating and he’d fall back into this thing defined as depression.

what the point in trying to be happy, always smile to make a good impression, things will get better over time is starting to fade in the background like how you ignore a ticking clock at night your mind grows used to it and you stop paying attention to it. you begin to realize maybe things won’t get better, maybe your stuck in this rut. but when you feel stuck your mind goes to the one way you know out. Grab a rope form an s from right to left leave a loop around your neck tied to the roof kick out the chair, a hangman’s noose.

find the bottle don’t exceed 2 take a dozen and than 4 more, always living life looking for an escape suicidal since grade 6. fuck. FUCK. i hate these mental scars you left behind, my dad told me girls find scars attractive, i think he met on the outside, i don’t know how anyone could fall for my scars how i shake uncontrollably when i hear her name, or how i feel knifes in my head and not the normal pain, it’s fine though all these levels of psychosis makes it impossible to feel okay... except when someone’s ask me how i am for some reason i still say okay. i’m in love right now but i know i’ll never be the same, so i’m just waiting for the chair to slip and the rope to draw taught, and free me of my pain.