Addiction,

We view this word with a negative view, correlating it to drugs, money and booze.

But not every addiction is something to be looked down on,

the best things in life we’re addicted to.

I was sober for 16 years of my life, till i looked into your eyes, now i’m addicted every part of you, little to my surprise,

i’m addicted to the way your lips take mine and make me lose track of time, i’m addicted to the depth inside your eyes and how i lose my way everytime.

i’m addicted to you darling and i don’t ever want to stop,

so hold me close and pour me one more shot.

nicotine and alcohol became obsolete,

as the darkness was drained from the bitter night sky.

her touch became the only thing he needed

a dove without wings still able to fly

he’s spent his life drowning in an ocean of madness, lungs constantly filled to the brink.

Till he realized she was his oxygen, finally allowing him to think.

he saw life for what it truly was

a journey of wonderful adventures

and he was just lost in this endless maze

till she guided him to the centre

now she guides him through the darkest nights, lighting the path on which he walks

a beautiful story it truly is,

of how the stars and the moon learnt to talk.

tried to do it,

the poison was thick,

i couldn’t swallow it

it’s all i can taste now

i hope it was enough

i doubt it though

well try again tomorrow

i got to go

trapped in my own mind since 11

it was always just me and him

the night terrors since i was 7

my dark passenger has to win

he calls him self chaos

he’s my partner in crime

he’s taken over my body

it’s only a matter of time

are you ready to meet him?

for he’ll soon abide in you

a letter to the innocent

just run you fool

he lives in all our hearts

calls himself greed

every-time you look at a neighbour with envy

you allow him to feed.

he lives in our minds

calls himself hate

every time you get angry

goes another victim he ate

he controls all my actions

doesn’t allow me to smile

instead i must be quiet

or he’ll take over for a while

help me escape him

he’s taking over me now

i’m lost in my mind

his voice is getting loud.

now i’ve become consumed by his antics

and lost in my demise

so someone send help

for chaos has arrived.

the depression took over his brain first

his body followed after shaking violently

everytime he closed her eyes

the devils face stared back

he’s become the embodiment of evil

intrusive thoughts controlled him

making him distance himself from everyone

looking for a way out

the only way he knows out

is alcohol and drugs

so he searches for relief

but instead throws away his life

now the only way out for him

is a noose of rope around his neck

one end tied to a bridge

the other end pulls tight as he leaps

is he in a better place now

at least he’s no a burden

other can be happy now

they’re better without him

i need a break from this life

of constant pain

so i take to the streets

3am strolling down main

i see a homeless couple

rummaging through the trash

coveting every piece of garbage

and adding it to their stash

there’s blood on the wall

someone died here

will i be next

i look at them in fear

he has two pills on his leg

they each take one

i’m overwhelmed with pity

in the darkness i wait for the sun

as the sun rises up

people are on their way to work

a sea of unfamiliar faces

yet the homeless still lurk

people pass them by

paying no attention

i realize they’re all ignorant

by the true definition

try and spend a night

on the downtown streets

i bet you’ll be amazed

by all the people you meet.

i know i changed

seeing their pain

so next time i’m out

i’ll be on main.

his mind fell into the hollow cave he called love once again, hoping for a different outcome this time.

but he knew after a while his mind would attempt to will his heart to stop beating and he’d fall back into this thing defined as depression.

what the point in trying to be happy, always smile to make a good impression, things will get better over time is starting to fade in the background like how you ignore a ticking clock at night your mind grows used to it and you stop paying attention to it. you begin to realize maybe things won’t get better, maybe your stuck in this rut. but when you feel stuck your mind goes to the one way you know out. Grab a rope form an s from right to left leave a loop around your neck tied to the roof kick out the chair, a hangman’s noose.

find the bottle don’t exceed 2 take a dozen and than 4 more, always living life looking for an escape suicidal since grade 6. fuck. FUCK. i hate these mental scars you left behind, my dad told me girls find scars attractive, i think he met on the outside, i don’t know how anyone could fall for my scars how i shake uncontrollably when i hear her name, or how i feel knifes in my head and not the normal pain, it’s fine though all these levels of psychosis makes it impossible to feel okay... except when someone’s ask me how i am for some reason i still say okay. i’m in love right now but i know i’ll never be the same, so i’m just waiting for the chair to slip and the rope to draw taught, and free me of my pain.

this is not a poem, if you don’t like that well fuck your self.

i’m mad, actually i’m angry, i’m angry at people in general no one really specifically, i’m mad no body has morals, or cares anymore, i’m mad nobody is real, i’m mad everybody copies everybody and judges people who are different, i’m mad we’ve all been seduced into believing that if we aren’t the same as everyone else we aren’t going to fit in, i’m sick and tired of trying to fit into groups of people, i’ve come to the realization i will never fit in anywhere and the sooner i can come to accept that the better, because i don’t want to fit in anywhere, i want to be my own category of crazy, i want to be the guy that people don’t like, i don’t care anymore, so fuck you and your opinions, because i’m done with your bullshit of fitting in. i’m done.

the oceans current takes over my body as i plunge beneath the surface the strong current pulls me down a path i’ve yet to travel, as my lungs fill to the top I stop struggling and fighting against it and let it over take me.

never have i felt so at peace as my body lifts back up to the surface suddenly seeming lifeless, barely conscious my mind thinks back to my childhood and all the times i’d jumped into the neighbours pool, thinks back to the time i’d go for a dip in the river, till my body becomes tired and i begin to sink, i realize its my time and let the sea take me.

she tried checking my google search history, expecting to find porn or that i was looking at other girls.

she got mad when i hid it from her and wouldn’t let her see, assumed she wasn’t good enough for me, i didn’t want her to see that the last thing i searched because it was how many pills of my mothers prescription could kill me.

it would kill her to know how badly i wanted to die, so i hid the smallest things from her and she told me i never tried. i’m sorry but this depression has taken all of my energy darling, and i’m not equipped to help another person right now, distance yourself from me before i finally drown, because i’ve been treading water all my life and i’m forgetting how to swim, so stand on the shore and don’t you dare jump in