t h e r a p y / s e s s i o n s

tell me what happened

he wouldn’t let go

what was he doing?

he clasped his hand over my mouth

chained my hands to the bedpost

& closed the lights

did you tell him no?

i tried

and he said?

to call him 'daddy'

did you?

i did

why?

it seemed almost natural,

easier even,

to call him the person that did the same thing to me

every night after Mom had gone to bed

why did you never tell anyone?

because i deserved it

just a body

made to be used

and thrown

darling, no.

i have been taught that

love means hate

and maybe

that's the only kind of love

i'll ever get