invisible faces

I can no longer see my face in the mirror

only the appearance of what it once was

and the fear of what it will become

the sadness etched into those piercing eyes

the worry plastered on skin through bumps of all kinds

the indecision marked by the wrinkles

"should i get plastic surgery?"

"what if i got eyeliner tattooed on my eyelids?"

"why can't i be pretty?"

the mantras of the morning echo through my brain but dig deep into my soul

the image i have told myself i was

so long

that it is now a part of me.