Being an “Example of Christ”

Merry faces light up the room. We make short work of wrapping the gifts. I know we are entirely different, so I keep my mouth shut, focusing on only what we have in common. I respected you, told you that you were the only religious person who didn't make me feel inadequate.

Now, I wish I hadn't.

What I really wanted to ask was

"Why do you call people like me disgusting, but you pretend that I'm not like the others?"

"Why do you feel that you have to convert me?"

"Is this all just one big contest between you and the rest to see who can get me into Heaven?"

"Why can't you just accept who I am without conditions?"

I wanted to ask you the hard questions, but you have my sister. If I want to keep her, I have to zip my lips while you disrespect me. I have to nod and tell you that I understand when I want to shake my fists at you and scream.

As for you, silent assenter, I wanted to ask why you only told him to be quiet after I was in bed. Why didn't you have the courage to tell him to stop when he said that my grandfather only loved a man because he was abused in childhood? Why do you pretend that you are okay with me while you allow me to be put down?

What I really wanted to say was, "If you can't love me for me, leave me alone."