Thank You

I sigh, staring up at the ceiling that I can’t see because it is pitch black but I am sure that it is painted freshly white. My mind races with memories of what happened today, mixed feelings are each one that a nasty after taste lingers in my mouth. I shake my head, it sure has been a long day and I do need the sleep, but there is something within my guts that’s telling me there’s something off, but I am not sure if it’s true or I am just imagining it. Giving up, I raise from my quick sand bed with blood rushing into my head; I reach out on my right for the switch for my little lamp I have beside my bed on the nightstand. Once I feel the smooth, cool rectangular like switch, I press down and look away; all the furniture in my room appears, seeing that it is either red or white since I have now a taste for the two colors. It is one of the few nights that I have a hard time sleeping, I usually sleep like a rock like my adoptive dad, but today has been so awkward that I can’t stop thinking if it actually happened.

I lean over my bed, staring down at the floor to remind myself that it did happened. How I know is because there is a man lying on top of a sleeping bag with only his grey sweatpants on and shirtless that reveals his hairless and lean chest that holds a few scars almost disappearing. His eyes are gently close that adds to how peaceful he looks sleeping, my heart starts to thump hard at the sight. Keith sure looks amazing and hot for a 18-year-old guy who is about a year older than me, yet although there are dozens upon dozens of girls- possibly guys- who are crazy for him he would focus on me instead of them. I know that he has feelings for me still, even after I have friendzoned him several times recently and having to accidently yell at him in public for making me embarrassed that he was my date to a teen dance I wanted to went with my friends.

I quietly get off the bed, seeing my night gown draping down on the wooden and I tiptoed over to Keith. I crouch down and marvel at his face, and his curly and messy styled hair that used to be black and grey, but now is black and blue since I offered to change his hair color early today. Reaching out, I rub Keith’s head and hair, feeling the wet, slick, and cold feeling going up and down my arm like a shiver. A smile appears on my face, finding it adorable to see that Keith looks like an child although he has the body of an junior size of his dad. The smile melts away, as I think about what happened today: the time Keith and I was hanging out in the house until it became dusk. He tried to leave and walk in the dark, I tried to persuade him to stay for the night since Connor doesn’t mind visitors and it is dark in the forest, anything terrible can happen in there. He reassures me that it is lovely and quiet in the forest when it is nighttime which I find it unlikely since anything bad can happen without warning in the forest.

Without warning, Keith moans with his peaceful face twists with disgust and moves around on the bed, “M-mom no...Please, stop...Mom, stop.”

I yank my hand back in surprise, freezing in my place with the sudden fear that he is about to wake up and sees me beside in him in bed. I want to move and make it not look like that, but my muscles are straining me from moving as if they are made of concrete now. Keith scuffles and twists over his sleeping bag, muttering more about his mom to stop doing something. As far as Keith told me, his mom have done physical damage to him when he was a young kid which is why he is here in Alaska to stay with his dad for a while till now.

Keith springs up from the bed and screams, “No!” I jump away from the surprise, my heart racing and my mind starts to scream for me to run as fast as I can, but my body continues to act like it is full of concrete. Keith jerks his head around the room and then sees me, looks down at my dress; a blush comes up on his cheeks as he starts to mutter, “Uh h-hey Genesis.”

I smile and relax my body down, hoping that Keith doesn’t ask, “Hey Keith, having a bad nightmare?”

He shrugs, then nods with his arms crossed. I walk over to him and sit beside him, waiting to hear what he had for his dreams. He hesitates for a while, so I wait until I feel a little hungry by the rumbling my stomach is making. An idea comes up in my head, I dash for something in my closet, behind the clothes and the boxes to be a small black refrigerator with a cord attached to an outlet. I open the door, the small rush of coolness comes out that fog rushes out. I look down and find a plastic bag with little yellow containers, I open the bag and pull out two of them, finding the expiration date a few months from now. I close the door and make sure it is covered with everything before I searched for it, I step out of my closet and secure it. I turn to Keith to find that he has put on a normal black t-shirt, his face down at the floor while hugging his knees. He glances at me and the two containers in my hands, and raises an eyebrow. “Genesis, mind if I ask,” He said. “What’s with the ice cream?”

“It’s Blue Bell, vanilla,” I explain, sitting down next to him and offer him one. “It helps me sleep sometimes, probably because the taste.”

Keith glares at me, then takes the cup and mutters a thanks to me. I smile, then I open the drawer to pull out two plastic spoons for the ice cream. The two of us eat in quiet, Keith has eaten his pretty fast while I am savoring each spoonful until the little container is empty. I put down my cup to the ground and turn to Keith who is looking away from me.

I ask, feeling like I know the answer, “What are you thinking about?”

He sighs and looks back at me, I am pretty sure he is going to answer about his dream or something about his mom. He whispers, “My dad.”

I stare at him, in shock for his answer, his dad isn’t the best dad he should’ve had like mine, his dad has an affair with three people: two men and one woman, not to mention that his dad has the Mutation that change people in many ways mentally, physically, and emotionally. Yet he somehow has the least worse effects of the Mutation and continues to live like a normal Freak.

Keith looks away as time pass by, then he whispers in his breath, “You know, I am pretty hungry for another cup.”

“Oh really?” I ask, feeling like he is up to something.

Keith nods, a smirk slowly appears on his face, “Yeah, vanilla is my favorite flavor, and maybe if-.”

He breaks half sentence because I kissed him mouth to mouth, knowing exactly what he wants since he had told me in the past that his favorite flavor is actually Dutch chocolate. Keith puts his hands on my cheeks and savors the kiss, my heart bangs my ribs like a drum by what I did. Our tongues intertwined that I sit down on Keith’s lap and resume our kiss that grows passionate. Suddenly I break off the kiss and pull back, feeling the realization and regret seeing Keith looking sad but tries hard not to express it but I can see it.

I hang my head low, “Sorry, I-I didn’t know what I was thinking, I only see us as friends Keith, I really do.”

“But I love you Genesis,” He whispers, transforming into his iconic coyote/fox hybrid self and rests on my lap with his eyes directing at me. “I love you so much.”

I sigh, trying hard to ignore his form, “Don’t give the big sad eyes and wet nose Keith, the last time it happened ended in someone I loved died, and he wouldn’t catch a bunny.”

Keith grunts at part of catching a bunny, since they are his favorite type of prey to eat when he in his animal forms, an ability he got from his dad while his mom is a Normal. I start to pet Keith’s stomach that he lies on his back,his tongue sticking out while panting as if he is happy with the rub. I smile and continue to do that, and then Keith switches back to his human form that he is resting his head on my lap, looking at me with a grin as my hand is on his chest. I yank back and exclaim in fury that he would do that to me, Keith still grins and gets off when I threaten to blast him. I sigh and walk out to the French doors that I open them to the speed that they wouldn’t make any noise. I step out, feeling another rush of coolness that I hug my arms and shiver a little. The sky is now dark with stars scatter across the space with the middle of it being the crescent moon with darkness on the left side. I sigh, letting in the cold air in and out as I think about my first and previous boyfriend, the one who I loved and trusted with all of my heart, now dead because of me. Tears start to fill my eyes that I can’t help but allow them burst out and drip down my cheeks like rivers going through the desert. A hand clasps my right shoulder, I turn to find Keith is standing with a grim expression on his face and said, “I’m sorry.”

I shrug, trying hard not to cry especially in front of Keith, so I have to swallow all the tears. Once I calm down, finding my happy place that is the incense shop I visited once in Africa, I turn to Keith and whisper, “No, I’m sorry Keith, I just don’t want to be in a relationship right now. I-I just want to be friends, okay?”

Keith nods in silence, letting us to be in the cold and dark with only the light to show the trees looming over us. I can’t help but see why Keith would like to walk, the trees look bare like skeletons of what they used to be full of green and life waving over the moon with the fresh fallen snow.

“Genesis, I have something to tell you.”

I turn to Keith who is now having one of his hands clutched as if there is something in it that he doesn’t want me to see.

“I am sure you won’t be happy if I tell you now,” He continues, grimacing at me. “So promise me that you won’t be mad at me.”

I tilt my head in question, “Why?”

“Just do it, please!”

“Okay, I promise!”

Keith nods and releases his hand, revealing small red pills the size of a triple A battery with a milky center of the pills. Dread floods me, I remember these pills very clearly, those are the very same pills one of my friends have experimented on and declared to be suicidal pills. My mind tries to form a list of possible causes Keith could’ve got them, but each one I could think of is checked out. My blood, for once, goes cold by the sight of those pills, the medication that offers painless suicide to those who are tired of life and can’t bear the problems it has.

Probably from seeing my reaction, Keith rushes, “Genesis, I am tired of this, of this life and dealing with my parents who doesn’t give a single damn about me anymore. My mom abused me and now my dad is captured and probably dead by those Reapers, and Matthias is grieving nonstop.”

“Keith Garthwaite,” I growl, my voice grows more dangerous by each word I speak out. “What are you going to do, I am not helping you at all.”

He falls to his knees and takes my hands with a plead in his eyes, “Please Genesis, I can’t take it anymore. No-one will care about my death.”

I gasp and shout, “What about me? You think I wouldn’t care if you fucking killed yourself?!”

Keith stares at me in awe and I look at myself in shock, finding that I have just said my first cuss word, the spicy yet powerful word that passed my lips made me feel so much better with my anger at Keith right now.

“Of course not,” Keith whispers, looking away. “That is why I want you to be with me when I die. It will look like I died in my sleep, so you won’t have to explain to the Alpha about what happened.”

No words couldn’t escape from me, my heart is now thumping harder that I can feel my blood now is rushing through every single part of my body that I can feel the heat that my soul has is about to burst and burn away my physical form. Keith wants to kill himself and make it look like it haven’t happened, so he won’t have to deal with the facts that his dad is gone and there is no-one to worry or care for him.

“G-Genesis,” Keith speaks up, looking at me with worry. “Y-you’re still crying.”

I observe him and see that his eyes are shiny like glass, glass that is about to break. I combat, “You’re crying too! You are not ready to die, you want to live.”

“Want to live,” Keith repeats in question, then he stands up and breaks his hands away from mine so he can cross his hands. “The truth is, I don’t know what to do now.”

I take Keith’s hands with mine and look more closely at those silver eyes that sends me to even shiver more. With my heart, I speak, “That’s the point Keith, you wanted me to be with you when you die. You are my close friend Keith, like Jaeden and Phoebe, I want the best for you. How about letting me be more of your life, not as a girlfriend, but as a best friend.”

Keith hesitates with a groan, so I hug him, feeling his warmth seeping into my body like water to a sponge. I can hear a gasp, and I whisper, “I know your parents aren’t here for you and help you, which is why I don’t mind if you stay here and Connor adopts you.”

Silence comes, the two of us still hugging for a minute or two until Keith embraces me hard and starts to weep non-stop. I feel awkward now from the sudden change of emotions, but I let Keith cry on my shoulder, that’s what friends are for.

“I-I don’t know what’s w-wrong with me Genesis,” Keith cries, his voice shakes and is husky. “I n-need help, bu-ut I can’t find anyone who would listen to me.”

I think of what to say, it is odd to see Keith now in a weeping mood while a few minutes ago he have been smiling and happy for messing with me. “Well then,” I answer, having a light bulb in my head. “I’ll the be the one to listen, and I will support you to get the help you need. I will talk to Connor that something is up with you.”

“Do you think he will help me?”

“When I tell him, he will surely listen and help you. You are one of my friends Keith, or wolf brother as Connor proudly say if he is here right now.”

Keith cries even harder, holding on to me as if he have lost the strength to even stand.I rub Keith’s head, feeling the soft hair that is now dry weirdly enough. Connor, or the Alpha as Keith say, will help Keith no matter what honestly, and that is what I love about him; he is like a dad to all of my friends.

Keith whispers out, “Thank you.”

I smile, continue to rub, feeling great that I am helping him go into the high road. I whisper back, “Anything for my friend.”

We pull back and we stare at each other, the world is silent between us as if we are the only people in the whole world. Heat starts to bloom in my cheeks, I need to break this before anything bad happens. Just I am about to say that we need to go back to the room, Keith leans over and kisses me gently, heat explodes all over my body as I freeze in my position. Keith pulls back with a smile and walks into the room, I chase after to make Keith pay for what he did.