Denial can be your best friend or your worst enemy.

"I can stop at any time." These words felt truthful as I was muttering them. Deep down though, I knew that this was a lie. A lie I've been covering myself up with like a blanket. It keeps me warm and safe at night. It shields me from the full honest truth, that I'm not ready to discover yet.

My mom just glared at me in disgust. "Wow, are you in that much denial that you actually believe that? You do realize that your not fooling anyone around here--besides yourself."

I try to shake off the words she's telling me, but any trace of denial has diminished from my body and I know she's right. I am in too deep to quit. I am stuck with this life that I've chosen for myself. I am fucked.