((Breathe me))

Won’t you put your lips against mine

I am a beautiful dying thing

perform your cpr

i can’t promise I will wake

breathe me

I lay next you

I often struggle to breathe

my lungs are heavy

I cant seem to find the words

if I keep saying I am fine

maybe you’ll hear the

the voice inside my head save me

hold me close

I can’t carry my body

no longer

I remove my sketelon

unveil all the parts aren’t so pretty

I’ll vomit out my insides

it be easier for you to bury me

You should unbreathe me

I should have warned you

I am carbon dioxide

selfish of me

i know your in need of oxygen

but I am the one

who is dying silently

I rip away my Ribs

tearing through my chest to get through My heart

I don’t feel like living

it won’t stop fighting

i have turned my bed into a coffin

Depression my pretty symphony

My words a cacaphony

I am loud

but my screams are silent

don’t you see my smile

but my eyes

Don’t you see the help

It’s in the eyes

Sometimes people recognize the hurt in you

Before you even do

they put a life jacket around you

pushing the thought of living down your throat

and it wraps around your chest like a sentence

they say you got to live

cause theirs more to your story

I tell em I don’t wanna keep writing it

let someone else be the author

I tell em anyone could write a euglogy

they say wake up

girl your poetry

oh don’t they realize

poetry is an cathartic confusion

I tell em fine I will write it

but I won’t finish it

they tell me keep painting until you see the person you wanna be

I‘ll Tell em find someone else to be the illustrator

they say who will color in the darkness in rainbows

i’ll Tell em get a painter

they say wake up

your an the emobidient of hope

dont they relaize

i use my bones as a paint brush

dipping into my marrow

oh I sing about pain

I am a baby bird

I still recoil under my wings

my pen

Has became my own addiction

I rip into unhealed wounds

i want to be stable

I often post

then I get traumatic

and feel the stress

and I become the disorder

I am still trying to heal

my body

They say in every line in poetry it is a story

That’s the thing I don’t know where my pain begin and ended

For my past

Is a never ending knife

Of letting go

I stab myself

over and over again

hoping I could for once

be the dragon slayer

i could stop the fire from consuming me

I am a burning house

I am the house

pour your tears

on my soul

I don’t want your pity

sit with me in the silence

dance with me

and why don’t you turn up the record player

I just want to hear someone else

sing the words I can’t say out loud

i’ve been pounding on walls

in my brain

asking if it would free the memory

I am trying to solve my own case

there are parts of me that don’t make sense

i Started taking self love in pills

feeling every whole

to stop the bleeding

I have often

visted my cemetery

And wonder who dare kill the girl who had so much to offer

i hold my hands with my younger self

and forgive her for being a child

but how dare she grow up

without speaking out

I often blame myself

and wonder if she just pointed out the bad guy

maybe she would save her

but how was she to know

when all she knew

were snitches get stiches and end up in ditches

they’ll bury your truth

But you will roar louder than a lion

i be lying if I didn’t admit I like Ursula

stole a voice

my own voice

she will speak her truth even if it burns her village in flames and she will become her own village

I often look at my hands

oh how did I get this way

I dont look in the mirror

scared I see the little girl Me

i Am not yet ready to face her

oh she doesn’t know

the weight of her truth

I stopped weighing myself

I have realized I weigh more than average

because I didn’t have the average life

my baggage vacays in my heart

I stiched up my smile

you’ll never see me drown

I threw all my favorite fairytales away

because Bad guys arent just cartoons

oh i spent my time

pilfering through them

hoping to find out why

him and him and him

didn’t fit the mold

because princes are the bad guys

the ones princess need saving from

Breathe me

breathe in

breathe

little girl

oh you can’t blame yourself

You lost yourself in your anger

oh you can’t blame yourself

I will do right by you

I will hold you in my arms

sit you in my lap

and tilt your head to my bosom

and quiet your demons

I will tell you will be okay cause we will make it you and I

we will make it to another birthday

i use to be scared Of my voice

but the little girl in me needs me to speak for us

you have to make amends with the past to heal

for Even red riding hood ... mistaken the big bad wolf for grandma ..

you will learn love too many boys who cry wolf are the wolf themselves

when the memories get too hard to swallow

((breathe ))

(( Breathe ))

(( Breathe ))

The truth will hurt but you will be free ..the little girl in me ..needs her rest ..the road she has traveled has made her tired and weary

Forgive yourself <3 love

signed the past

sent the present