Last Words to Patrick

———————————————

I’ve been flooding my eyes,

I feel so fucking lonely.

I came home, died in bed.

Where are you to hold me.

Our dreams have been murdered,

Been thrusted into the abyss.

But everything with you...

I can’t help but to reminisce.

We dreamt of millions,

And dreamt of success.

We dreamt of seven children,

But everything became a mess.

We wanted to have a small farm,

With a pond, hens and ducks,

(Ducks you can take for free at the park!)

But eh, we stopped giving fucks.

We dreamt of a mansion,

More luxurious cars.

We dreamt of a shared life,

For everything to be ours.

—

Everything seemed so palpable,

But away, we had to drift.

Carelessly, we disposed of it,

I had to get rid of the paintings, photos, and gifts.

We wanted to build ourselves,

Build our careers and personalities.

Heal our affectionate sides,

And improve our bad qualities.

The semester has ended,

There’s just nothing left to distract me.

The emptiness in my heart,

Stays... no matter who else is around me.

I’ve been hanging with friends,

I’ll make hundreds more at the new uni,

Opportunities for a new guy,

But the thought of it makes me looney.

For a moment, if only I could go back,

Once more, for some kisses n’ squishes,

But no going back, we don’t suit e/o,

And destroyed are all of my wishes.

—

I cry everyday, try to cry through the pain

But nothing will change what’s happened.

And we’ve thrown the blame, both have acted in vain,

Done things we’d never imagine.

—

My mom says to stay away,

do not contact,

I can’t help it,

Says the beginning’s best,

exciting dates,

Says we wasted it.

—

Driving to school, I feel like a mule,

This breakup was really just cruel.

In class while the prof talks, I sit and stare at the clocks,

Or my phone, refreshing my inbox. :(

—

Today I was at work, the bartender is old,

His girlfriend, today, had just passed.

Kinda reminds me of you, gone like her,

Swept away, a figment of our past.

A lot has actually happened,

Multitudes I wanted to share.

But fuck, I hate to move on,

You prob hate me or don’t even care.

Everyone’s trying to reassure me,

That c’mon, I will find someone better.

That I’ll meet another this fall when I transfer,

But I really wanted us, forever.

—

But there’s no longer “we”, won’t ever be,

At this point I’m writing for closure.

You’ve prob moved on, prob hate me too,

It kills me, it’s actually over.

We’ll both find someone new, it wasn’t meant to be,

And I’ve been working on moving on.

It’s time to start over, find someone else,

And soon we’ll forget that we both have gone.

—

For now you have Charles,

And I have Lacy to comfort me,

They’ll give us the love that we lacked.

And please don’t write back,

I’m too hurt to get attacked,

The breakup was final,

No need to jump back.