In Observation of I

I think that it takes a lot for a person to let their pride down. I do it all the time... I don't mind constantly saying yes when I should be saying no, I don't mind being the person to take the sour end of things because you choose to be boisterous and think all of you. I'm the type of person to bend backwards, ass backwards, and never complain. Here recently though, my character has been under some serious compromises. In being the doormat (old self) I wasn't always happy. I thought that maybe one day my efforts would be taken noticed of when in reality they were only taken advantage. I thought that maybe things would change but increasingly they've only gotten worse. So I took a step back, no let me rephrase.. I scrutinized a broken heart.

No really, I mean I looked inward and asked, is that what I really want? I decided that it wasn't. In every relationship I dealt with the misusage. Having a giant heart means that you deal with people pulling left and right from you because they think that you have no boundaries. In realization, I started being a bitch. I started thinking to myself that a loving Sierra would never get anywhere if she doesn't put herself first. In doing this, everyday I feel more and more complete. I'm not completely selfish, not yet anyway, but I know for a fact that I can only give out but so much me. It's a valuable lesson that I'm glad I've learnt because I can't keep going back and forth with people who aren't willing to understand the things that go on in the inside. It's a lesson that's allowed me to be my own generator of pure joy not matter how bad something may hurts. If something does hurt I don't look for external sources to heal any wounds, I look internally now for all of the answers. The good thing is, I'm not the same girl... I've learnt from each mistake and I'm proud of myself for coming this far.

So, in observation of I, I feel honored to be me.