Dear Marc,

I understand now what it means to love someone and not be loved back, you taught me that. I was young not sure where my future was headed but you already started yours. We knew it would be hard, me going to school and you being part of the military. living miles and miles apart but having our hour long phone conversations were the best times, when I heard your voice it made me feel comfort.

My life sucked and talking to you gave me the strength to push past all the crap in my life. The downfall happened when the military became your whole life, blocking out me and your family, going weeks without speaking to me. I was worried and afraid however, i knew that was part of your job. We would not talk for weeks at a time and i missed you dearly but when you would finally respond its as if nothing changed. The arguments you said i would start were a stupid way to get your attention. I tried to be there for you and listen to your problems but it was not enough to keep you in my life. You were being sent on leave and i was hurt. So i cried myself to sleep and missed your last phone call. The next morning i woke up and listened to your voice message you had left for me. It was an angry and hurt one, ranting how i never cared for you and how you never loved me like i loved you. I still to this day think to myself, “where would we have ended up, if i wouldve just answered.” I cried myself to sleep almost every night for about a month or so. You completely fell off the face of the earth, distancing yourself from me, friends, and even family. Fast forward seven years later, and i still think back to my first love. You are my “what if” Marc and I want to tell you that i don’t hold any hate in my heart for you breaking it.

xoxo,

Liv