The essence of having a Relationship

The essence of having a relationship seems surreal, blissful and pure happiness. But some relationships are just so superficial and surface level only. Why do I say so? Some people are blinded by their own needs of having one, or let’s just say, having someone to have and to hold. (sounds like that line on a song, eh?) It can be a necessity and a must for a lot of people, but, the question is, are you really ready to have one?

One of the most common misconception about relationship is the ‘you are entitled to know EVERYTHING about your partner’. The thing about that is, we can know everything about someone, but in exchange of that, we are stripping them of their personal space, their privacy. It’s not about 'if you trust me you will tell me everything’. There is a difference between being open and 'forcing’ someone to open up to you. If they are comfortable enough, they would eventually share their innermost feelings with you.

Attachments. A lot of people get the idea that attachment is love, nope, they are way different from each other. Attachment is like, you cling into your partner like a child and you literally all over them, and sometimes that is suffocating. If you feel secure you won’t feel that way around them. Attachments is connected to fear and expectations. You are afraid to lose them so you suffocate them in a way of wanting to be there with them every now and then.

Genuine love says “I love you and I want you to be happy” while attachment would say “I love you and I want you to make me happy”. There is nothing wrong about looking out for your own happiness, but if you think having a relationship can make you REALLY happy, then maybe you should ask yourself “am I seeking happiness outside when it should come from within me?”. Attachments chains down a person to the point of not giving them the freedom and space they constantly need.

Acceptance and trust. Before you look for it in a person, look first within you. Accept your own flaws and faults. Trust yourself more so you can truly trust someone. Love thyself first before engaging into loving someone. Don’t think that you are incomplete without someone. We are complete versions of ourselves, the essence of having someone is to love us for who we are, to guide us to do the things that are good for our well being, to be there with us, through joy and pain; happiness and sadness.

Love when you are ready to be with someone. Enter a relationship not because you are lonely, but because you love genuinely and you are ready to face many experiences and events along with the person that is dear to you. Be in a relationship when the time is right for you; don’t run around and chasing it.