B-2

I open and reload youtube hoping for some new content I like.

I don’t find anything so I end up just reloading the same old videos I’ve been watching for the past few days because I don’t want to pick something new and not like it.

Nothing new in days and I want to write but nothing is coming to mind.

I have stories and ideas, characters and scenes that play in my headspace using my time like putty.

I don’t think I understand the world the same way everyone else does and I know is that in thinking that I’m probably like everyone else in the world who thinks they’re special because they don’t feel the same way as everyone else they know does.

I want someone I can trust with the parts of me that I don’t even trust and I know that isn’t going to happen till I trust myself enough to let go of my reserves on not wanting to be disappointed because everything seems easier if you just play backseat driver to your emotions.

I know if I get it out of my head it will feel more real than it does now and I’ll be able to think about all of this with some perspectives.