She lit the fire with gas, and no one could put it out (A Poem On Gaslighting)

Sign One: Lying

YouLieToMeAndEveryoneCouldSeeItButI.

“Did you kiss her?” I asked you innocently with tear stains on my what was once white sweatshirt.

“No.” you lie. Stone cold. No remorse.

And I believe you.

Sign two : Deny

IKnewYouBetrayedMeButILovedYouILoveYou…

I saw you kiss her, with my own eyes.

I saw you hold her hand.

I read those texts where you said I love you first.

But I turned my head and walked away.

And I called that love.

Sign three: the death of my sanity.

WhenISpentMoreTimeInTheBathroomThenInClassIKnewSomethingWasWrong.

Once a week. No, twice a week. No, once a day. No, twice a day.

I sobbed.

My breath became short.

Panic.

Panic and fear.

Tears and tissues.

Blood and blades.

The hurt was there, stemming from the relationship that was only being held onto by my tiny hands.

And I called this, just being a highschooler.

Sign five: Love and flattery.

YouKissedMeAndIThoughtEverythingWasFine.

When you kissed my lips and said “all better” I believed you like a kid would after falling down and getting a kiss from their mother on the booboo.

But this was not a booboo and you were not my mother.

You bought my love with your kind words, delicate touch, and expensive jewels.

And I thought that fixed everything.

Sign 6: You're crazy.

YouKnowWhatTheySayAboutAssuming.

I was crazy to think that everything I heard was true.

I was crazy, me. Not you.

I was blaming you for things I had no proof for.

I was hurting you.

I was pushing YOU away.

And I said sorry.

Sign 7: Everyone else is lying.

WhatDoTheyKnow

That’s what you said to me each time we fought over if you cheated on me or not.

You said they didn't know us, they didn't get us.

But truth is, they did.

More than you ever could.

And I called them jealous.

Sign 8: Confusion

YouLoveMeYouLoveHerYouLoveUs

One day, you kissed me.

The next day, you kiss her.

One day, you talk to me.

The next day, we are strangers.

I am playing tug-o-war and have lost every round.

And that is why I left.