Woof, woof

It was somewhere around the end of May, and it had been getting quite nice out. No rains, and the temperature had been fair. It was Saturday, and Sunday was a day off. I came back to the camp at around 6 PM. I just picked up a large chunk of hash from one of the guys in town. It was the first time that I had that amount of cannabis. I was cooking noodles as well, I roasted some hot dogs on a big open fire as I had many times before. After smoking a couple hash spliffs and drinking a beer, it was time to clean up. Then I noticed red pick up truck with a canopy on it moving slowly through the camp area. Right off the bat my senses felt a little off. I didn't know at that time, but somehow I knew that this truck, and the people in it were bad news.

Out of all places for these people to stop, they stopped right next to my camp. One by one they filed out. I first saw this short stocky guy who looked to be balding. Then this tall skinny guy, who looked a lot like Lenny from that show in the 70’s, Laverne and Shirley. I had to laugh a little to my self, think, what the hell, Lenny and Squiggy. The last guy to come out, was a big guy. This dude was huge. I think he was about six foot six, thick and moved with purpose. I couldn’t see him too well, but he looked to have a certain amount of scars over his face. He just looked tough, like a well ridden bull, that not a cowboy was able to stay on.

The three of them went at it fairly quickly. They kind of argued, and squabbled as they're setting up their tent. They were all drinking beer, and I noticed the tall skinny guy drinking quite a bit more. But it was that short guy who gave me a bad feeling. He kept on looking my way. He was sort of like grunting, making weird snorting sounds. And then I would hear it, “Woof, woof”, and again “woof, woof”. And the big guy was looking at me, and then he would glance at the short guy. Next thing I knew, the short guy was walking in between our two camps and doing this, woof, woof sort of thing. The skinny guy was drunk and kept on drinking. I had been around enough to know this guy would be out sooner than later. And I was only hoping that the short guy would drink as much and pass out along side with him. The big guy even now looked meaner and way tougher. Though he didn't seem to bother me.

Then it all began, the short guy started to circle my camp spot. He began woofing and woofing. “Woof, Woof, Woof” he kept it up. Next thing I knew is that he started to walk towards me. I noticed the the large guy was keeping an eye on him, and on me as well. I don’t know why, but for some reason his watching me made me feel a little safe. Then, this crazed stalky guy came right up to me, and woofed straight in my face. At that point, I got scared. I didn't really know what it meant, but I knew I was in some sort of danger. Then, the big guy yells over at me. “Hey come on over here, come and sit with us”. Now talk about apprehensive, fight flight, or say scared shitless, I was!

What I had; I had my knife in my pocket, and a good size chunk of hash, a pack of rolling papers, my cigarettes and a lighter. I thought to myself, if I pulled the knife I was dead. And if they smoked pot, I may have a chance. I squeamishly walked into their camp. The little stalky guy never stopped, he kept it up. “Woof, woof, woof, snort, grunt, snort woof, woof”. Man, I was in trouble. All I knew, was to be as cool as possible, to now try to talk my way out of and through this. The big guy says to me, “Sit, sit right here beside me”. The first thing he says me, “What are ya” ? I said, “A little nervous” he says, “ah, don’t be”. “What are ya” he says again. Then I clicked in, “Oh, I'm a Swede” “That’s what I thought” he says. “We all have it, we'll have that nose, all of us Swedes”. Then he says, “You don't worry about anything, your one of mine, brother. I'll protect you tonight” He says. “Hey, doYou know why he's barking at you”? I of course say, “No”. He says, “He wants you, what I mean, he wants you, but I am not going to let him”. “You're one of mine”. All that was in my mind was that I had to get out of this, and I had better start working on it. I asked him, “Do you guys smoke”. He says, “Yeah, we all do”. And then I say, “I mean do you smoke cannabis?” He liked that, and then says, “Do you have a joint?” I told him to give me a minute and I’d roll one up. And I did, and I never stoped, I kept on rolling.

The little guy didn't stop his barking at me, and kept on getting right in my face. Then the big guy stood up next to me, just as the little stalky guy barked one more time. The next thing I knew, was this big dude gave this little stalky guy the hardest uppercut that I’d ever seen. He smoked him right between the eyes. That little stalky dude flew backwards, and hit the ground hard. It was like he was hit by a bomb, and out he was. The big dude looks at me, and says, “You're my brother, and I'm taking care you tonight”. Relief, you bet, but now I wondered, what did I owe this guy?

I looked over by their tent to see the tall skinny dude passed out cold. And just like that there was just this big dude, and I. Two brothers by heritage. If that what it takes to stay safe, then I had no choice but to go with it. He notice the sweater I was wearing. It was my fathers, one that I liked a lot. It was very big on me, but I could wear another or two underneath it. He says to me, “I like that print, its Norwegian, I can recognize it anywhere. Can I have that sweater?” I immediately pulled it off and handed it to him. I said to him, “It’s my pleasure, you're my friend, my brother and of course you can have my fathers sweater”. I then felt the immediate danger I was in, in the first place had now lessened a great deal.

We stayed up for a while. We smoked more, and he drank more. And then he began to tell me what they've been up too. He says, “Hey man, who do you think we are? Were escaped convicts. See all the stuff, see, it's all brand-new isn't it? I took a good look around, and yeah every thing was new looking. Then I was to hear his statement, “We stole some credit cards, and got a hold of a Canadian tire card. See that truck, we stoled it too”. It won't be long” he says. “The feds will be here. They are good at tracking cons. It's a game, and we have all played it before”. He then says to me, “I'm tired, and I'm going to go to sleep now and you should too. You wait, it won't be long”. He tells me. “Go to your tent, go get some sleep, this will be over soon”.

I did, I went back to my tent got on my knees and held my knife in front of me. I dosed off and on, not ever completely falling asleep. Just before dawn, I could hear a lot of sounds off to the distance. I had been in that campground for a while, and that was first time it’s been noisy in the morning. Then I could hear what was sounding like a chopper. I thought to my self, gee is this big Swede correct, are the Feds closing in. And I could hear more sounds. I could hear what sounded like fast-moving vehicles off on the highway that was near by. I was only begging and wishing it to be the cops.

It was now Dawn. I peeped my head out of the tent. The tall skinny dude was still out cold laying by his tent. Squiggy was still out of it too. I never saw the big guy, he must've been sleeping. I crawled out, looked up in the sky to see two choppers flying overhead. I then looked out in the field that was adjacent to the highway about a half a kilometre away. I had never seen a site like this, I'm not sure how many vehicles there were, but at least four. They were all coming straight towards our Camp. And then I heard the big guys voice in my head saying; “The feds will be here, they’re good at tracking con’s.” And man he was correct. In no time there were Feds all over the place. The four vehicles came off the field and others came on the road.

A few of them ran out of their vehicles with their guns drawn yelling the names of these cons out loud. As well they were yelling out that they were the RCMP and that they had warrants for their arrest’s. They quickly apprehended the two on the ground. They yelled and yelled “Come out, with your hands up. Show us your hands.”Then I saw the big guy crawl out of his tent. Straight away two feds were on him. They took to the ground, cuffed him and then propped him up. Each one of the three were put into different vehicles. It wasn’t long till those three were taken away.

When this all went down, I was actually cuffed and put in a cop suburban. Then, two feds started to question me. The first question I was asked, was what was my business in that campground. I of course told them so. And then I was asked if I knew any these convicts before this previous night. I of course told them that I did not. At first I felt that there was this off-chance that I would not be believed. But then after a little time, it all sorted out, and they took the cuffs off. It was almost as fast as they showed up, they had all of the cons, and they’re gear gathered. Two cops stuck around for a tiny bit to make sure that I was okay. And that was it, they all drove off, and with that red pickup truck as well.

I sat there in a state of awe, I tried to gather my thoughts, but there were just so many. And how unbelievable of the story would this be. And then I thought to myself I should've stayed living at the YWCA.

The incident was very strange. The weirdest thing about this night, is that it only happened to me. No body knew anything about this. I told the guys I worked with, and of course who I worked for but yet, it all was so surreal. I continued living at the Tunnel Mountain campground for a while. Blue told me that he would look harder for a place in town for me. The guys at work had a good laugh from time to time. Every once in a while someone would walk by me, muttering, “Woof, woof” and snorting and grunting. We would all laugh. What else can you do, but see it with humour.

Kozz @ November 13, 2019