Jealousy + Deception = Paranoia

something must be wrong

i don't get jealous

i wish i did

it could have prevented this pain

which has polluted every sense and emotion

i understand there's beauty i can't match

and believe there's no harm in looking or daydreaming

and i certainly understand envy over what other's have

yet i value working hard for what i want

i don't want to be jealous

or feel jealous

i just want to trust, love and laugh

i've caused jealousy

and been confronted by it

which only places me in a state of emergencey

it's usually difficult to calm the situation

and retaining respect become a challenge

oh, but looking back

jealousy could have prevented my heart from fully breaking

deception and betrayal are inevitable

what will be will be done

and the one who is deceived will need to survive

from my experience, jealousy is maddening

yet, now, it seems like instinct kicking in

preparation for what could be

not feeling it is like being blind

no worries, i'll pick up the pieces

and love harder

which will entail a degree of jealousy

with the hope that paranoia won't take over

that's what i'm afraid

i can't let that happen

that's the greatest cause of deception and jealousy