An Elaboration, Part I

An elaboration

Brought to you, by me

From the ones who did the hurting

(Mostly myself, if I'm being honest)

Let's start at the beginning

Tear me apart piece by piece

Take this tapestry down thread by thread

(I was never good at seeing the big picture)

A little girl with too sad eyes, alone, always alone

Even amongst the others, so very much alone

Lost in the woods, lost in her mind, hiding

Hiding from everything, all the damn time

What would the monsters say if they realized

real life was so much scarier?

I don't fear the bogeyman or the ghost in the attic

My fear exists in the unknown reality, what happens if…

My fear was always more existential

Is my time here useless

Does any of it matter

If I disappeared tomorrow, would it change a single thing

I can hear it now, the platitudes, well meaning and chocked full of care

But I don't know if they are true

(Some have told me they aren't)

I have a hard time with reality these days

Unsure if it's what I think it is or if it's something more (or is it less?)

I'm trying to figure myself out and it's taking so much time