no edit no regret just Write
When God said
"Let there be light"
He began to twist his fingers and created what became
You
There you are
Standing in the hallway
I can see your shadow under the door
You're not moving
Making sure I'm not moving
But Teacher,
Where would I go?
You have sayings of truth
And outside my door my hallway is only
Whispers
Eyes gleaming with unsaid gossip
People waiting for the right moment to
SCREAM
I saw you
I saw you in the backseat
Sweaty slimy slut
I dare you to deny it
Pics or it didn't happen
When God said
"Let there be light"
The switch in my room was flipped
My stomach soon followed
I swallowed the blood and bile
He hits harder when he's
Drunk,
Of course
Your room's not clean?
50
Your hair is frizzy after a sleepless night?
50
You left the light in the garage on?
50
Oh would you
Stop crying. I didn't raise you like that
I beg your pardon,
Dearest father
Behind the confession curtain
Please let me explain
I screwed up but if I do one more push up
I think my arms will collapse
And I'll fall and fall so far down into a great big
Nothing
I can't be nothing
Nothing isn't good enough
Where will I be if I am not
When God said
"Let there be light"
You better believe
I punched that fat thot in her big ugly face.
Don't you EVER
TOUCH
MY LITTLE SISTER
AGAIN
OR I SWEAR TO YOU
I'LL MESS YOUR FACE UP SO BAD
YOUR MOTHER WON'T RECOGNIZE YOU
She cried
I hit
I bit her arms
I pulled her hair
I clawed at her eyes
I called her ugly
I called her stupid
Being the bully
Felt amazing
Even in the principal's office
On the phone with mother dearest
Unapologetic Unapologetic
Are you kidding me? I'd love to do it all over again.
Let me hit her again.
Please.
I want to do it again
I said
Let there be violence
When God said
"Let there be light"
He pushed me up against the car door
I let him put his tongue in my mouth
I let him touch me
I let him think I loved him
I led him on
And when they found him in his bathroom
Crimson water running in the tub
Open wrists
I knew it was my fault
Because I finally told him I lied
I lied
Every time
I lied
And I lied because I knew
He wasn't ready for the truth
It did not set him free
Oh no
It set him off
When God said
"Let there be light"
I cried for hours
Wrote you letters
(I burned them all)
Pretended to not care
(Of course I did)
Let myself go
(I pined for you)
Ignored you in public
(I wanted nothing more than to be next to you)
Ignored your phone calls
(I listened to every voicemail)
Because I knew
(Of course I knew)
You weren't real
(That person was never you)
Here I am
(Alone)
Where are you?
(Are you awake too?)
Not real.
(I should just forget it)
Nothing we never had was real
(Because we had a lot of nothing)
What a comfort to me that is
(You never broke my heart)
Because you weren't real at all
(What a comfort to me that is)
When God said
"Let there be light"
You're still standing in the hallway
You're still drunk
I'm still enjoying breaking your face
Your tongue is still in my throat
And you still don't exist
Oh God
Teacher,
Where can I go?
You have sayings of truth
And I am not worthy
I can't handle the truth
No
The light is coming but God
I can't
I won't make it
I just need more time
I'm filthy I'm violent I'm a killer I'm exhausted I'm a whore
But I can change
Please dear God.
Just hold back the light.
For just a moment.