The Hatred of Love

So many thoughts cloud the mind,

So many emotions flood the heart,

And sometimes I wonder which people act upon

It feels like my heart is a naive tourist and my brain is a local

My brain tries and tries to tell my heart what to do and where to go

However my heart is stubborn, and believes she knows the way around a land not her own

She controls me, and when she speaks I am in a trance, deaf to the pounding scream of my brain

My heart has no mercy and tricks me into believing her every word

That’s when she strikes

Her glittering teeth sink into me, and my brain is obliterated

My every move is made by her, authorized and wished by her

Everyone heeds out warnings, but my heart makes me forget them

My own feelings are not a thought or a priority to her

And with that she starts to kill me too

My face stuck in a frozen smile, my eyes bright and forgiving, my arms wide open

I scream weakness, and don’t you worry, they hear

I light up in hues of magenta and yellow, rays of sun blind me and bring warmth to others

I am a host, a mere shell for others.

They suck my beauty and overdose on the kindness

They come back for more, and I can’t seem to tell them to stop

The warnings pound in my head, but they are quickly washed away with an apology, a cry for help

My heart pulls the reigns and I hear the words, “It’s ok”

These words stay with me, and when I forget myself they resurface

Suddenly something snaps

My brain picked up its pieces to end the ruling of the heart

My world stops for a moment, the screen pauses

I realize what I need to do, and the warnings suddenly some rushing back like a tidal wave

I finally feel my brain rise up into my head again, and I know everything is going to be back to normal

But then the screen resumes

The brain sinks once more, and does not return

Sometimes I wonder if it ever will

I am reminded of my weakness, and keep on living this way for the rest of my days