Meaningless Kisses

“It was an accident. I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.” Poppy stared at Miguel desperately. She drank the sight of him in, knowing that she didn't deserve it. His messy brown hair, beautiful hands, and everything she loved about him.

"An accident?" Miguel crossed his arms in front of his chest as if to protect himself.

"Yes. I - I never meant to do anything. I thought - I wasn't thinking, I just, I was afraid and I wasn't thinking straight - or at all, and I'm sorry, please." Poppy rambled on. Miguel watched her distantly as if she was a stranger, not a girl whom he had once loved. Who loved him. The party went on in the room next door, disregarding that both of their hearts were breaking. And in one room, was Leo, the unquestionably handsome soccer player that seemed right out a book who, just moments ago, Poppy had kissed.

"You kissed Leo," Miguel said practically. As if he was asking her to pass the salt. "Did you not?"

"I, " Poppy crumbled. Saying it made it so much more real. It did happen. "I did."

Miguel's face dropped a fraction. He drained his red solo cup and sighed. Without warning, he winded his hand back and flung it at the wall. Poppy flinched. She realized tears were dripping down her cheeks, mixed with her mascara and lipstick.

"I didn't mean to. Every part of me still loves you. I didn't mean to kiss him, I am still all yours. The kiss doesn't stand for anything. It was a mistake. Kisses don't mean anything. I'm in love with you. Leo is no one to me. I made a mistake and I didn't mean to, please," Poppy was rambling. She didn't know how to explain when Leo had reached over behind the wall to her shoulder and brought their lips to meet, Poppy hadn't felt an attraction. She'd kissed him, for some reason she didn't know, but it was nothing compared to kissing Miguel. Miguel made her heart jump and cry out and fall in love again. Kissing Leo was like kissing a statue. She was in love and would be in love with Miguel for a long time. Her actions didn't match how she truly felt.

"Poppy." Miguel stepped towards her. There was something off in his stride. Poppy flinched back.

"Please." He took another step, lightly. He glanced at her, uncertain, and Poppy flashed back to when she had first kissed him. They had been at a party, in another room after one of their mutual friends had passed out. Poppy had been trying to prevent their friends from falling when Miguel had helped and accidentally brushed into her. They had laughed and that's when Poppy realized her friend was okay, but she was falling. And as they say, the rest is history.

Miguel and Poppy had been going steady for two years now. And so, Poppy let Miguel take another step forward.

"Poppy," Miguel repeated. He closed the distance between them until Miguel rested his hand on Poppy's waist ever so gently and he brushed away her tear.

He kissed her. And Poppy felt it again, the butterflies, and explosives in her mind silencing everything else, the way nothing else seemed to matter. Miguel grabbed her hair like he had done a thousand times and whispered her name over and over again until Poppy couldn't think.

And then suddenly he pulled back. He stepped away, his eyes still distant. Poppy stumbled for a second.

"I had to do that," Miguel explained. Poppy could hear the breaking in his voice. She knew this was goodbye. "You said kisses don't mean anything, so I hope you won't mind I needed just one more." He turned away. He took two uncertain steps away from her. At the end of room, he turned back to face her, heartbreak written on his face.

"I love you Poppy, and maybe you love me, but maybe it was all an accident."