Why can’t I just be me?

Time to wake up !

Another day

Eggs bacon hash browns biscuits and gravy.

Eat then go shower .

Get dressed for the day.

Everything starts swirling spinning in my head .

Sudden feeling of hopelessness and anxiety .

What do I do and how to I cope today ?

Can do nothing right it seems ?

Is it because teenage blues or something else?

Everyone close wants me to change and be best I can be.

So much expectations

Nothing less than a ninety for school grades if you make an eight nine or lower your grounded for month.

No dating allowed unless it’s a proper girl .

I can’t chose who I want to be with .

So confusing so messed up.

Peer pressure is difficult .

Parents pressuring me.

Swirling into a black hole deep in my heart and mind .

Will I ever get out of this ?

Will I not ever get to be me ?

Tightness and sadness grip me .

Turning turning someone please help me get off this pattern !

Can I just be me ?

No you can’t you have to change to what everyone else wants you to be .

Why oh why do teenagers have so much pressures ?

Who knows from day to day if I will ever get to escape ?

Can I please for one day be me ?

Can I please have some fun ?

The answer I get is no because you need to be better and to prepare for life .

Depression and anxiety set in .

Time for bed.

Maybe I will get lucky and sleep .

Again I ask when can I just be me ?