Life’s Mysteries: Part 1

Cancer. They said she had gotten cancer, but it’s not true. My mother had died three years ago of “cancer” but the funny thing is that she wasn’t sick. No one knew what happened, but I was the only one to find out. I’ve never felt like I belonged with anyone. I’ve always felt distant and it killed me to see that my own mother was lied to. Right in front of her. Looking her dead in the eyes.

“Cancer.” The doctors looked suspiciously at me, then each other. “I’m so sorry, but you probably won’t make it threw the night.” 

“This can’t be right.” I blurted out without thinking. “You cannot possibly tell me that I only have one night left with her and you’re not even going to try and save her? What is wrong with you?” 

“Ma’am, I know this is hard for you, but-”

“No! No buts. I deserve to know when she got this, and why it took so long to know. I’m only 14. I can’t live alone. I can’t stand life without her. Save her. Please” Tears streamed down my face slowly as the following words infected my brain with sadness. 

“I’m sorry. There’s nothing we can do.” The doctors left the room one by one, but just before the last woman walked out, she looked into my eyes, nodded with her pale hand on my shoulder, and walked away.

“Baby girl?” My mom’s voice was horas and quiet.

“Yes?” I tried my hardest to keep from balling, but I seemed to be failing. 

“I need you to be strong. I need my warrior. I need my amazing Laura May.”

“Mommy I can’t.” It happened. I couldn’t contain my tears any longer. I leaned down and wrapped my arms around her neck as she leaned up as far as her connected tubes allowed her to. “I can’t be by myself. You have to be okay.”

“You and I know that I’m probably not going to be here when you wake up sweetie.”

“I won’t sleep then. I won’t close my eyes even for a second.”

“Get your rest. I love you.”

“I love you too.” I whispered as the doctors interrupted. 

It was maybe four in the morning when I couldn’t hold my eyes open anymore. I woke up around seven, and the room was empty. There was the chair that I'd fallen asleep in and a desk. What happened to the other chairs, the trash can, where did the bed holding my mother go? I was in such shock that I didn’t even realize that the doctor from yesterday had sat down on the floor next to me. Once more, she looked into my eyes. I remembered the way her face curved. I remembered the way she looked as her still, straight hand lay on mine. I hadn’t blinked before I was being held like a princess with my arms around her neck. She was running. I was fine so I don’t know why she was running down the hallway and yelling that she needed another doctor and fast.  I looked down as the look on her face went from fear to pain. My side was covered in blood. My blood. I couldn’t feel anything though. I couldn’t feel the pain that was supposed to be there. I yelled. No one looked. I yelled once more and still nothing. I was right there. I was fine, and no one saw me. I grabbed her arm and she stopped. The whole hospital stood still. I could feel the tension between the floors, and I felt her heart stop as she finally looked at me. A few nurses screamed and ran over. She was in shock that I was looking her straight in the eyes.

“I’m fine.” she waved her hands in people's faces, but nothing happened.

“They won't hear you.” I placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Yes they will. I'm okay they have to know that.” Her eyes grew dark as she realized the truth...