What is real?

I wonder if a heart breaks all at once or little by little. I know I feel it breaking evreytime I see your face, or hear the sound of your voice. A voice that once soothed me, but now brings tears to my eyes. Strong hands that I once craved to hold me, now makes me flinch with fear. Green peircing eyes that once heald love and compassion, now holds a cold, dark hatered towards me. Is it wrong of me to hate you with everything I have in me, but still crave to be under your control? Is it wrong of me to still long for your lips agaisnt mine? The same lips you used to cut me with words are the lips I dream about.