What Keeps Me Awake At Night?

Its 4:30 am and im up... again. And its your fault. You know... as i lay here and long for your touch, crave the feel of your skin against mine, I remember the feel of your soft, warm breath on my exposed neck as you sleep nussled tightly next to you. I miss you. I want you. But more importantly... I hate you. I hate what you did to me. The person you turned me into.

But thats love isn't it? You change your ways for someone only to get told you're not good enough.

Yes I had my problems but I've since fixed those and now after I've finally gathered all the pieces of the heart you shattered, stomped on, and scattered into the wind. You want me back?

Why? Because you were wrong? Because someone like me can change for the better?

Or is because I'm finally happy?

That must be it... I've finally got you out of my life yet you find a way to sneak inside my head...

Let us not forget this time last year when I was parked on the bridge about to drive off who did I call 10 times?

You.

Who never once answered?

You.

A year to the day and I sit here with pills in my hand ready to just end it all and I stop to think.

Maybe that's exactly what you want. You've said it before, numerous times. So that must be why you're here. Why you always find a way to sneak in to my head or my heart.

But I have news for you. I've figured it out. This has always been a race. And you've always been the Bunny. And I've always been the slow turtle. But honestly... I think i just won.