Memoirs of Mom

Mom would shake me awake on a cold snowy Sunday to fetch fresh, warm doughnuts and rolls from the 49th avenue bakery which I hated, but today if she were here I would be most happy to do it.

Dad coming home from work each day meant scurrying about picking up the toys and making the house presentable. Her way of cleaning was hastily tossing things under beds and into closets. Cleaning wasn't her thing. 

She liked her thick Folgers coffee.  She loved her solitude in the mornings with it. Like me, you were asked to "please don't talk to me until I have had my coffee". Just a "splash" of milk. 

She loved lemon meringue pies, blueberry and peach cobblers, and apple crisp  that only she could perfectly bake. I can still see her licking her fingers.

She burned chocolate chip cookies EVERY TIME. Dad loved his chocolate chip cookies so that became my job over the years. Made with fresh butter and the best chocolate chunks, I baked them with love and tucked them into tins and mailed them to my sweet dad when I moved away.  He loved that, and he wouldn't share them.

She was an excellent cook. The house always smelled good and the fridge was always full! 

She hated her hair touched and never put her makeup on her forehead, she was quirky like that.

I remember her giving me home perms and what didn't fit on the roller got cut off! I always cried after my hair was done as she thought I was cute!

My pierced ears are crooked because of her. Ice cubes, needle and thread. Yep, that's how we used to do it. I remember that day. I chuckle every time I put my grandmothers earrings in. 

I remember the time she blew up the pressure cooker with spaghetti and meatballs in it! I remember the resulting kitchen painting that followed. 

I remember avocado green was her favorite color. 

When she was young she loved shoes. High heeled shoes. I used to try them on. She had small feet. 

She loved peony bushes. 

I remember how soft her hands were and how soft her lips were the last time she kissed me. She was good at being warm and showing affection. I guess I got that from her. No one escapes the hugs here either.

I stopped to look at birthday cards last week. Her feelings would have been hurt if I had not sent a card and called. It was weird not bringing one home. Maybe I should have sent a card to the stranger who now lives in her house...

So many little things about my momma I woke up thinking about this morning. Sweet things. Little things. Unorganized thoughts. 

I'll see her this morning when I look in the mirror. I look like her. It makes me smile. I see her in my sisters. She left a lot of herself with us, inside of us. 

We're good people because of her.  She was always good to people. She always did the right thing. She was always loving and warm.  She was a good listener. She was generous with her time. 

I'll be thinking of her today, as I do every day, and I miss her more than I could ever say. Today would have been her 76th birthday. She was my favorite April fool! April 1, 1941.  Pearl Harbor was bombed later that same year. 

I was laying in bed at 6:00 writing this. I will get up now and watch the sunrise and try to do it without crying. 

I will miss my mother until I draw my last breath. No "Happy Birthday", I refuse to say it. I promise I will think of you every minute of every day. ❤️

18 December 2017

Musings of a post menopausal insomniac