Dispatchia - Goddess of Sarcasm
I am the Dispatchia, the Goddess of the Cut-down and of sarcasm. Listen to the prayers of my worshippers:
“My boss insults me. It started when he saw that I have one more degree than him and now he calls me stupid in front of the whole office. I cry every night because I feel humiliated.”
“My boyfriend tells me no one will ever find me attractive and I should be grateful he pays attention to me. He cheats on me but tells me it’s my fault. I do not know how to leave.”
“A man called me ‘beautiful’ and I said ‘I know.’ Now he’s harassing me because I did not accept his compliment as gospel. I did not sleep with him because of his minimum effort and now he’s trying to make me feel guilty for it.”
“I’m a Marine. I just got promoted and every male Marie says its because I got in on my knees. I don’t know how to stop their lies.”
Invoking my name will give you the strength to cut these pariahs out of your life. In that moment, my spirit will join yours and with our combined strength and rage, we will cut down those who oppose you - with the joint power of words and humiliating them in front of their peers. I will make your enemies feel small and weak. They will listen to your words and whither. Your eyes will gleam with fire and indignation and they will cower.
My flower is a dandelion because it not a picky and whiney flower like a rose, who needs the right temperature, soil and food to grow. Dandelions can grow out of the concrete with nothing to feed them. They’ll just feed on your soul.
My animal is the raven. Parrots may talk but a raven understands. They can work out when the street lights change so they can fly down, leave their walnut and watch the cars run over it. When it’s broken and open, they will swoop down and eat it. The Tower of London is guarded by five ravens (the sixth is back-up) and the Tower guards believe that if the ravens ever fly away from the tower - England will fall.
Behold! Be humble and ready to learn at all times. Realize that you can be ignorant and do not know all things. If this is not followed, I will swoop down and knock you off from your pedestal and run you over like a walnut.