Around this time 7 years ago.

If I could choose, I’d always choose you. But tonight I learned I choose me. Back and forth to the pull of the tides I choose neither the push or pull that is your gravity. I choose to be a post in the sand at a standstill between love and the chase that is you. I choose me. I choose to stand and reflect on what once was and no longer is but could still be. But I’ll stand here in your motion to disrupt your never ending pull. Dull to the bones I’m numb, I’m flushed, I’m currently in the contemplation of my life where I take it back. Not that you took it.. I just gave it.

Scared with barnacles and the harshness of the salt water continues to obliterate me little by little but I’m still standing. The deep ness of your depths tempt me to plunge but I will not succumb to you until you calm the waves and part like the Red Sea. I’ve found my worth, have you? Because I see it in all of its glory.

I wish to partake in the depths and fathoms of your soul. I just need to know are you ready for this dive? I wish for us to thrive with out baggage and big knives dig deep into our lungs. For darling we’ve been drowning in your depths.. and I wish to float. Yet I’m here at the coast standing in your waves. Will you let me in? Will you allow me to part you, hold the weight of your oceans deep within me? You wanted to see if I could wristband but you didn’t trust me. So let me. Carry the weight of our sins.

Until then.

I’ll wait at your shore, scared, broken, healed, informed. On the needs of your love.