Inevitability

Honestly I feel like what I fear as I grow older isn’t the unknown, it’s the inevitable.

Death - inevitable, what lives dies, it’s a cycle.

Darkness - inevitable, as we revolve around a sun and the light needs to dim.

Drudgery - inevitable, because everyday I have to hustle to live.

Increasingly the things I feel like I can’t stop or control really weigh heavy on my mind.

Covid-19 - my brother working as a waiter serving jerks who think masks are a joke is a ticking timebomb of an infection vector that will wipe out everyone I love in one blow, and I can’t do anything about it because he has to feed his kid and can’t afford childcare except for my diabetic mother’s home.

Climate change - while everyone debates whether it exists I’m working on my now annual wildfire evacuation routine / bug-out bag, wondering if my friends drowning in Florida could just send me their extra 2 feet of water, and nothing at this point will save either of us we just have to learn to live with the new ruined world.

Fascism - everyone laughs it off, but I just watched a debate where my elected president told his opponent it “wasn’t in his blood” to be a leader, and then told white supremacists to “stand by”, as he refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power while throwing a five-year-old fit - and as I log in online and read hate message after cleaned-up, supposedly “non-racist” message, after innocent, excuse-laden, “oh that’s not REALLY what they mean, y’all just over-reacting libtards, ha ha” message, all I can think is holy shit there goes my country - either to actual Nazi’s or just dumb, immature bigots; either way, this blows.

In times like this the only things I can focus on are small, microcosms of hope that surround me - friends and family (as long as they’re alive), local government and leaders that continue to commit to the values I thought my country upheld even as the feds cut off our funding / support, and volunteer activists who fight the good fight against insurmountable odds and screaming heads.

And apparently I do need to up my necromancy points because I hear a lich king is due to come subjugate the world any day now and I should just accept his benevolence.