Honestly I feel like what I fear as I grow older isn’t the unknown, it’s the inevitable.

Death - inevitable, what lives dies, it’s a cycle.

Darkness - inevitable, as we revolve around a sun and the light needs to dim.

Drudgery - inevitable, because everyday I have to hustle to live.

Increasingly the things I feel like I can’t stop or control really weigh heavy on my mind.

Covid-19 - my brother working as a waiter serving jerks who think masks are a joke is a ticking timebomb of an infection vector that will wipe out everyone I love in one blow, and I can’t do anything about it because he has to feed his kid and can’t afford childcare except for my diabetic mother’s home.

Climate change - while everyone debates whether it exists I’m working on my now annual wildfire evacuation routine / bug-out bag, wondering if my friends drowning in Florida could just send me their extra 2 feet of water, and nothing at this point will save either of us we just have to learn to live with the new ruined world.

Fascism - everyone laughs it off, but I just watched a debate where my elected president told his opponent it “wasn’t in his blood” to be a leader, and then told white supremacists to “stand by”, as he refused to commit to a peaceful transfer of power while throwing a five-year-old fit - and as I log in online and read hate message after cleaned-up, supposedly “non-racist” message, after innocent, excuse-laden, “oh that’s not REALLY what they mean, y’all just over-reacting libtards, ha ha” message, all I can think is holy shit there goes my country - either to actual Nazi’s or just dumb, immature bigots; either way, this blows.

In times like this the only things I can focus on are small, microcosms of hope that surround me - friends and family (as long as they’re alive), local government and leaders that continue to commit to the values I thought my country upheld even as the feds cut off our funding / support, and volunteer activists who fight the good fight against insurmountable odds and screaming heads.

And apparently I do need to up my necromancy points because I hear a lich king is due to come subjugate the world any day now and I should just accept his benevolence.

Fear and Love my two favorite words.

In my new research this week I have discovered a new world, a world that takes us to the beginning, the beginning of words and their meanings, back to the beginning of existence.

This new world has the best love stories and my favorite thus far is "The First Love Story' every told.

Before I share this beautiful love story adventure from the beginning of existence, let me first explain. Love Vs Fear they are vibrations. Love is our highest vibration of mercy, forgiveness, compassion, understanding, healing, caring, you get the picture and Fear is our lowest of anger, irritation, frustration, sadness, depression, fighting, war, and destruction. I can keep going low vibration is the easiest.

The quote “The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.” - H.P. Lovecraft

says "oldest" i would like to debate this.

Now is the time to introduce mythology. It took me 52 years to read this beautiful story of the beginning. the religion convinced me that reading about mythology or even watching movies about the Gods and Goddesses would send me straight to hell. Including not learning about mythology, was also astrology, numerology, yoga, mediation, and having crystals in your home was forbidden as well.

A lot has happened and I am letting go of everything I was told. Including the lies, the churches told me. I have been reading mythology and discover this is where so many of our words come from. I am loving it!

The story goes like this...

Chaos became aware of its nothingness. Chaos means void, nothing, non-existence. with a thought, Chaos created Erbrus - darkness, and shadow, DARKNESS couldn't even be seen, not even a shadow before Erebus, and NYX - Night.

with this new thought, creation came about the first five elements.

* Earth - Gaia

* Fire - Tartarus

* Love - Eros

* Darkness- Erebus

* Day Herma

* Night - NYX

As you see there is Love in the FIRST five elements, no fear. Fear comes much much later. and unfortunately, the true part of the quote is fear is stronger than Love. People don't know the story of the beginning and have forgotten they are supposed to be searching for LOVE. This is a treasure hunt for love, not a job.

I found a hidden secret in mythology, the key to heaven's gate. I found these words... after reading the story of aphrodite, eros, and psyche. A beautiful love story about LOVE and how love brings the balance of chaos, emptiness, loneliness, without love it is all lost.

Eros fell deeply in love with the most beautiful mortal psyche. It is forbidden for mortals to see the Gods. So he made away for them to be together, in secret, but it was always in the dark.

For them to be together, she must never see him. She is tricked by her sisters, into shinning a light on him while he is sleeping, she sticks herself on Eros's arrow and falls madly in love as well, she awakens him with the noises she makes, he opened his wings and flew out the window immediately.

Aphrodite notices the world becoming chaotic. she searches for love, to find him sick, stricken with lovesick, all the diseases attacked him and made him sick, he couldn't get out of bed, eat, drink, or anything, he just wanted to sleep. His heart was broken.

Something has to be done. Without Love, the world goes into chaos. But it is forbidden for mortals to enter heaven. Aphrodite goes to Zeus and brings him up to date about what has happened. Zeus sees the dilemma and makes a solution.

Zeus makes a new law

"For as Love cannot dwell in any other place but the Soul (Psyche) and the Soul can only enter heaven through LOVE."

Love is the oldest, Fear is the strongest, only because people have forgotten the greatest treasure hunt is love. You won't find love in any place, you won't find love in a guy or girl, not mom, dad, brother or sister, you won't find love in people. you won't find love in cars, houses, or sports. You have to go deep inside of you and take a look. Remember who you are. Remember who you are created to be.

The Greatest Love Story is you finding love in you, when you love the creation you are, you see your beauty you're worth and hold on to that when you get to heaven's door.

For now fear has a stronghold and people fear what they don't know. But the sad thing is they truly don't know what it is they fear... the things they believe they fear is nothing to what God has protected them from seeing and knowing. They fear death, more than the unknown. and this is proof with everyone's wearing masks on their faces. not the mention all the laws are written to keep you from dying.

People think dying is Death, that's because they don't know mythology, Death is not the same as dying, God doesn't save you from dying but from Death. For Death is chained in Tartarus. There is someone going to release Death, it's coming, we've all heard about it. This is what everyone is fearing. Death is coming, and when it is released there is no stopping it. Death does NOT KNOW LIFE.

What you should fear is God not knowing you. Why should God know you if you don't know yourself? You should fear God turning his back and not fighting for you when Death is released.

People fear dying more than the unknown. But it's actually

"Death" they fear, they just don't know it.

Athena

I have no doubt that it's true that fear is probably our most ancient emotion. It's a feeling that exceeds our species and is found to some degree - I'm certain- in every animal. It keeps us alive.

The fear of the unknown might have began with man, who could imagine things beyond what was laid in front of him. An animal that can imagine anything is something spectacular in my opinion, because he can affect his surroundings like no other animal in the world. I digress.

But with that vast imagining, come fears and anxieties unfelt by our primal brothers.

It has lead to a milieu of other fears, (I would challenge anyone reading to look up): xenophobia, astrophobia, thalassophobia, chronophobia, achluophobia (or nyctophobia if you prefer), noctiphobia (related to the latter two), wiccaphobia (probably) and of course, and most naturally - thanatophobia - the fear of death. I would argue that it is probable that most if not all phobias really do stem from not knowing. Since phobias are most effectively cured by exposure and understanding of the stimulus causing the phobia- I think that argument has some merit.

I also think that we can fight and even conquer these fears.

As an atheist, the fear of death had gripped me like no other fear has. In the past.

Not so much now, and there are a few reasons.

First and foremost, it has been replaced by an even greater and deeper fear: the fear of loss. Losing those you love and rely on is the heaviest feeling. When you really love someone, you cannot ever replace them. Ever. They are just gone. Not to be so downcast, but that is exactly what grief is. And there is no worse thing, in my opinion. (And yes, I know it's because I make it that way for myself, but I am stubborn in this thinking.)

Secondly, I view death in unremarkable terms.

It is a thing that happens to all things that live; we are all food for another.

I imagine that dying is a lot like being born in reverse. I imagine that being dead is a lot like it was before we were even alive. I don't know anything from before, and I won't know anything anymore after.

This doesn't scare me. But I also don't want to be taken away from the people I have and the people who have me. I don't want them to be sad after. Not that I would know about it.

What bothers me more is not having enough time: there is never enough and I am greedy for it. I wish I did believe in something after. It sounds beautiful; but it sounds also like a fantasy. It's just that time wouldn't matter if it were true. But I don't suppose it is. All well.