all is vanity

so little,

we have so little,

some more

others less,

some none

so little time,

it goes,

it went,

our time of life,

goes so fast

some are dead

before they are reborn

and born only enough to see

how dead they were

and live with the pain

of knowing the end with decay

coming,

no matter what is done

i turned to see yesterday,

it seems decades of time ago,

a young man preserved on video,

now old, now weak, now gone

once new, proud,

brilliant and bright,

filled with light,

like a son of God

but decaying like summer grass

like rotting fruit,

unseen by the harvest

hanging on wilting branches

the progression of time,

of corruption,

of the lie believed,

of the consequence,

of time restraint,

of death

oh what grief,

what mind bending grief,

what helplessness,

if you really get it.

most don’t

unless they’re on a death bed,

how can they?

if they’re snuffed out,

in, say, instant death,

like a head on collision at 75 mph,

or ground impact in a plunging airliner

with no pre warning

in these matters of mortality

oh yes,

even the arrogant cry out

for mercy from God,

when the devil comes to collect

what pain,

only his voice remains,

like a ghost with images,

like mist,

vapors of spirit,

only memories,

. . . so helpless, so hungry,

so thirsty,

amazes, flabberghasts me,

how earth dwellers

seem content

unwilling to know

the knowing of the coming ends

how blind

how self deluding

how illogical is the conduct,

decomposition in the ground,

bone, guts, blood,

dust,

yet, happy as larks,

until death comes,

in the dark

/ / /

i am greedy for life,

oh, only for a little bit,

give me a little bit,

but don’t ever let it go

don’t ever let it stop,

a little bit more of life

clean,

untainted,

filled with quiet,

peacefulness,

like a snow banked lake,

surrounded by alpine trees

conifers of holiness

standing clear

imposed upon the bluest sky

of turquoise purity

////

i’d ask for all of it,

but i know it won’t happen,

i can’t have it,

not now

no matter how

gotta suffer

is what i’ve learned

it is what it is,

fair,

low cost to pay,

considering what others have paid . . .

i don’t feel like getting graphic here

/////

i’ve tasted of life

can’t get enough

can’t find enough

don’t ever let it stop,

while it lasts,

can’t,

haven’t gotten enough,

what is enough?

enough is eternal life

filled, immersed in peace

like a meadow

filled with green,

wild flowers, birds

in joyousness, in love,

in light

a concept,

an idea,

a reality based on faith

of supernatural cognition

of supernatural reality

upheld by truth

what is truth?

it is bonded with love,

it is right,

of what is true

truth is alive

it is suspended,

integral with wisdom,

it is life,

God’s attributes,

//////

the thirst comes in spurts,

quenched by truth

i can see it sometimes,

the greatest truth i can ever know,

and it goes,

disappears

comes again

a great and marvelous light

just enough to tantalize

and cause cruel torment

because i am bound by flesh,

knowing i cannot have what it reveals,

what it shows me in this mortality

can drive a man insane

it comes and goes in avalanches,

disappears until an unexpected moment,

a short burst,

i hold my breath, so to speak

knowing it will not last

like deja vu,

suddenly it is gone

i desperately lunge for it

eluding my grasp

like silk

forbidden to a pauper

respiration stops

the heart stops

decomposition starts,

immediately

no power in the universe

seems to bring it back,

or so it seems

and yet,

i know of one who can,

and will

in the meantime

oh, what pain,

what titillation

to feel, to see and know

it is to be taken away

in this dimension

to taste of eternal life

a little bit,

in this flesh,

this life,

this death,

is torment

in knowing

it will all be taken away,

a grand, ultimate punishment

i hide for a moment in the castle of my mind

in my spirit i am shielded

for i know i am utterly powerless against all things

like an armless man

who cannot touch to hold

what he would love to love

what have i done?

asks the righteous man,

like the victim

who has never seen the light,

born in captivity,

made to suffer in the darkness

though the sun shines, it is dark

in the land without the truth divine,

it is midnight

though we walk,

we stumble

we injure ourselves and each other,

like a man tied to a chair

in an empty room

forced to watch history and its tools of recorded events

to see and feel and know

his life will be extinquished,

gone forever,

along with all those before me and those to follow after,

all the beauty,

the humble and meek

together with the proud,

the good with the bad,

the truth is a heavy,

heavy burden to bear