Scared to be happy

I thought I hated you

I thought that I'd hate the ground you walk on

When I speak of you it's never anything you'd be happy to hear, i'm afraid to admit

I tell everyone I want nothing to do with you, and yet you remain in my thoughts

I remember our past like it was just yesterday, you left a mark on me that can never be erased

And yet you make me happy

Now that you've come back, I've realized you're not at all what I thought you were

You are broken and in need of a friendly face

I can be myself around you, which is something I thought I could never do

When you look into my eyes I see that you care about me, but not in the way that I do

That's why I'm scared

You are with another, I shouldn't feel this happy when i'm with you

Because I know that no matter how happy I feel, it doesn't matter

You are hers and not mine

So yes i'm scared to be happy, because I don't know how long it will last

How long until my happiness turns into despair?

All you have to do is say those hurtful words, and yet you won't

That's how easy it would be for my happiness to be gone, like a flip of switch

I'm scared at the amount of power you hold over me, so much power that it would be enough for me to run away with you

I would be foolish enough for that, but oh how happy I would be

If only you chose me

When you say my name, I am drawn to you like a magnet

You would never know this because I would never let you know how much of hold you have on me

So yes i'm scared to happy

Because you never know how long it lasts