the fall
(Content warning: su!c!de attempts, mental illness, self-harm, pills)
Please note that this is an old poem, it’s mostly fiction, and my mental health is very good and well taken care of recently.
Secondly, please note that if you are struggling with mental health issues, please feel free to message me anytime. Wishing you all the best.)
A young, bright graduate
with a promising future
now sobbing in a waiting chair
in the hospital’s psychiatric ward
Sorry, hon, I know you’ve tried
seven kinds of medicines already
but let’s just try one more
don’t take them all this time
Bloody wrists and vomit
wipe it up, wrap it up
have a panic attack or two in class
go back home and try again
I apologize for the poor quality
of this academic essay
I just started new antipsychotics
because I can’t tell what’s real
The whole world feels greyer
than my defective grey matter
wake me up when something matters
if that day ever comes
Tell me, have you ever blacked out
with no one there to catch you
except the slate-grey concrete
with all its warmth and empathy
Tell me, have you ever floated
in a bubble-filled bathtub
with your head underwater
and wanted to breathe in
How do you think
about a problem
when your problem is
you can’t think right
How do you live
when your life’s over
and you’re got a mangled gouge
where your soul used to be