Silence

You gave me your hand

You built a home from the pieces of a broken man

Instead of covering up my bruises with kisses like you used to

you made more

Now my mind’s is at war

because you’re not the love I once knew

Your ghost sits with me

underneath the willow tree

We hold in our anger and call it home

we never get lost for we do not roam

Your ghost picked me apart and looks inside

I couldn’t run, I couldn’t hide

Your ghost filled me with dreams I can’t hold

It’s the only thing keeping me afloat in this cold world

I wish that we could’ve run away

I wish I could just leave the growing up for another day

This nostalgic feeling is weighing down on me

Like the kid I used to be is looking down on me

I see your ghost stare at the photographs of us

and smile at the things stuck in the past

But I also see the hole that slowly spreads as your ghost looks at our picture

your ghost turns and looks at me

I have to look closely

to see your ghost whisper “I’m sorry”

I can’t handle the silence that threatens to crush us

So I sing a song to keep the quiet out

But it’s not enough

because when you watch me with those sad eyes

I self-destruct on the inside

It’s never a pretty sight

And it pains me, even more, when your ghost cries

because we’re both hurting inside

You used to say “there’s love in the silence”

I always replied with a smile, “tell me something I don’t know”

This love doesn’t feel right anymore

I miss the love that wasn’t filled with sadness and pain

I miss the before

I call your ghost over so we can take a picture

but no matter how many times we take the picture it’s not the same

because in the after photo I’m all alone

Even with your ghost here I feel alone

So I listen to your recorded voicemail on my phone

My hands are balled into fists

In that moment I realize how lonely it is to exist

The silence keeps trying to sprout

So I play your voicemail over and over to keep the silence out