I Want To, I’m Just Afraid

For many years, I have wanted to make money making art. My biggest fear is I don't want to be a starving artist and I'm not the best artist around. I'm afraid people won't want to buy it. I struggle with procrastination and discipline (which do I struggle with more?), so I don't know if commissions with deadlines would be the best thing for me. I don't have an art degree, so I feel like that's a hurdle at times.

I've always been afraid to go to college. When I was younger, it was because I never wanted to be in debt, and college CAN be thousands of dollars of debt. The amount of effort involved in scholarships overwhelmed me. Debt scares me.

I have an account to a dating app or two, but I've only ever set up the accounts and deleted the apps. I've never used used them. I'm afraid of getting murdered or kidnapped or something. I'm afraid of getting my heart hurt. I'm afraid of coming off too awkward. I'm afraid of rejection. I'm afraid of pouring too much time and effort into finding a boyfriend. I'm afraid I might compromise for the sake of being liked. I'm also afraid of rejecting others too.