Shifted Left

(I don't know if it is because of the update or the 'new look' or whatever but all of my posts have all been left justified for whatever reason completely doing away with any form of proper syntax. For a website for and about writing I find this to be a most heinous violation of the rules of writing. Not to mention it's fucked up all my stories.

The following short is my literary protest to this bizarre left justification of the text.)

Because of the emmence size of Rædis' worldship, he avoided traveling within the glittering space lanes that connected the developed systems of the greater galactic community. Also, the tolls for such a vessel would be astronomical.

      It was while circumventing a stretch of these galactic highways the worldship encountered a region of space that neither Rædis nor Traveler had never experienced before. The effects of this space on the giant ship and its inhabitants were quite profound, inconveniencing and ridiculous.

      Traveler and Rædis were preparing excellent new suits for wear to an awards ceremony they had been invited to by their friends, racing drivers Jenny Gumballs and Lisa Hole. The women had just won a series of races resulting in a first place championship within the particular division they were currently participating.

      Traveler was, of course, absolutely elated to see the love of his life and Rædis was happy to be there to celebrate the triumph of their exceptional friends.

      Rædis was happily going through a selection of patterns and colors to the holographic tie he was wearing as Traveler was doing up the laces on a shiny new pair of boots he was eager to wear.

      "What do you think about this pattern?" Rædis asked as he double checked it against the vest he was wearing.

      "Looks great." said Traveler without bothering to look.

      All of a sudden and without warning everything in the large dressing room they were in that was not bolted down or secured in some way was all gently but abruptly shifted to the left. Rædis and Traveler found themselves flattened against the left wall of large, mirrored room along with hundreds of small, loose objects.

      "What the fuck!" hollered Traveler in alarm.

      "Computer!" hollered Rædis.

      "Rædis." it said.

      "What in all hells is happening right now?" he asked it.

      The ship's computer anticipated this question and had already begun working out an answer.

      "I'm not quite sure yet. I do know that this is a ship wide occurrence and seems to have only affected items up to a certain mass."

      Rædis and Traveler were pressed up against the left wall of the dressing room. They weren't held there too hard and were able to slide their limbs and bodies about but they could not, despite all their physical effort, free themself from the smooth, reflective surface of the mirrored wall. Even Rædis with his greater than human strength was unable to push himself off the wall.

      He wisely decided not to give it too much effort in the event it would crack the surface and cause even more problems. Traveler, whose head was facing his friend said to him after sliding a jar of pomade out of the space between them like moving a magnet on a refrigerator:

      "Well...this is something new."

      Even his breath on the mirror lingered longer than it normally would before eventually evaporating. Rædis' head was turned away from Traveler but he was able to move it to face him with some effort.

      "This is bad. I really hope whatever is going on doesn't fuck up the ship in any detrimental ways." he said. His bright eyes reflected off the mirror. "Computer. What is the greatest mass effected by this weirdness?" he asked it.

      "Nothing greater than ninety kilograms is effected by the phenomenon." the computer replied.

      "Well that's good. At least we don't have to worry about our vast collection of various vehicles all piled up against one another among their parking places." said Traveler but no sooner had the words left his mouth than he was struck by a terrible thought. "Ræ! The other people aboard the ship! There is no doubt injuries and accidents. We should dispatch whatever help we can right away."

      "Shit, man. That's a great idea except if this 'left shift' has effected the whole ship than I'm not sure what kind of help we can render." said Rædis. "Computer, give me a damage and injury report. Like, is anything on fire, did anyone die, stuff like that."

It was odd having to issue such orders. In all his years of travel aboard the magnificent vessel, never was there such a bizarre or down right emergency of this magnitude to deal with.

      "There are no major fires and all cooking activities have been suspended for the duration of this..." the computer actually hesitated as it looked for the right word to explain what was going on. "...event." is what it went with. "It is definitely due to the region of space we have entered because outside of where the ship is currently located this 'left shift' does not seem to be happening. I have launched several probes in various directions to confirm this.

      As far as injuries are concerned, there are many. Most of them more inconveniencing than life threatening. The majority are concentrated around City Sector Seven."

      "Well, do what you can, computer and if possible, reverse us out of this 'left shift' and back into normal space." Rædis instructed.

      "Got it." the computer confirmed.

      While his friend was dealing with the computer, Traveler  had worked his phone out from his waist pocket and was slowly sliding it up the mirror so that he could place a call. Once it was in a workable position, he rang up their chief racing mechanic, Mr. Bright. It took several tries before Traveler heard the voice of the man through the phone. He was rightfully alarmed.

"Trav! What in all the hells is going on!? Everything is a mess down here!"

Before Traveler filled him in he asked a very important question.

"Where is little First Light and is she okay?"

Mr. Bright's daughter had come to mean a lot to Traveler. He had taken the form of a super cool uncle to her who let her get away with things the other adults in her life would frown upon. He delighted her with unique gifts from his journeys not just around the galaxy but from different points in time.

Whenever he presented her with one of these little temporal trinkets he always told her the tale of its acquisition. Her young imagination would soar as she pictured in her mind what he described for Traveler was very excellent at telling stories.

"She is okay, yes. She was in her room with her tutor when whatever this is happened. She and Mr. Spacemin, her tutor are currently stuck to the left wall of her room. They are uncomfortable but safe." said Mr. Bright.

"And you and your wife?" Traveler asked after breathing a sigh of relief knowing the child was safe.

"We are okay too. We're stuck against the living room wall along with a variety of small items oh...and the cat."

"The cat? Cripes, it must be freaking out." Traveler said as he tried to picture the small animal stuck to the wall of the Bright's living room.

"Actually, it's asleep." Mr. Bright reported. Traveler laughed.

"Okay well, you all hang in there. Me 'an Ræ are trying to figure out how to fix whatever this phenomenon is ." Traveler's wordplay was not lost on the mechanic.

"Ha ha... Hang in there. You're very funny." he then ended the call.

While Traveler was checking on the Brights, Rædis had the computer dispatch emergency services to the ship's population. As the Left Shift only affected items up to a certain weight an army of service droids above the limit were able to move freely about the ship to tend to those that needed help.

"Okay. I've done what I could to help the city sector, now we need to work our way out of this weird part of space. How are our friends?" asked Rædis.

"As good as can be given what's happening. First Light is okay." Traveler reported. Rædis breathed an electric sigh of relief then got back to the problem.

"Okay, let's first see if we can move off of this wall and work our way around the room." he proposed.

"Right. Good plan." said Traveler and began to slide himself along the mirrored wall towards the nearest corner of the dressing room. It was easy enough but upon reaching the junction of the two walls he found that when he reached out to try and touch the other wall his hand was drawn gently but inexorably back to the wall he was stuck to.

Rædis watched this. His expressive face went through a series of looks from confused to intrigued and concluded with frustrated.

"You try." Traveler suggested. They then began a complex series of motions to switch places. It involved Traveler working his way up and over his friend while Rædis slid under him. Rædis then also tried to reach out and touch the other wall. His efforts, despite his great strength, produced the same effect.

Both friends looked at each other. Rædis' bright eyes gave off a light of frustrated confusion. Traveler shrugged. Both were at a loss for ideas.

"Well. This certainly is one of the more stupider things we've ever encountered." said Traveler unhelpfully.

"Hey computer..." Rædis called. "What do you make of this space? You said you launched probes. What else have they found out besides the boundaries of this left shifted space?"

Before the computer could answer, however, Traveler reminded his friend of the shipwide announcement he had yet to make. "Oh! Yes, of course. Ummm...what should I say?" he asked.

"Tell 'em like it is, man! And let them know we're doing what we can to normalize whatever this weirdness is." Traveler said to Rædis as if it were obvious.

Rædis thought for one of his mechanical moments then instructed the computer to activate the shipwide intercom. He had never used it before because he never had a reason to.

A tone signified that he could now address the ship at will.

"Um...hello everyone." he began. "This is Rædis speaking. You may have seen me around the ship before hangin' out mostly in City Sector Seven with my friend Traveler. Uh, you also may have noticed we have encountered a unique and rather inconvenient problem. We think it has something to do with the region of space the ship is currently passing through..."

As he launched tentatively into his announcement Traveler rolled his eyes next to him but did not interrupt.

Rædis continued...

"We are working to return to normal space as quickly as possible and I'm asking everyone to please be patient and try to remain calm and not panic. Service droids not affected by this weird problem have been dispatched to assist the wounded and help out as best as they can.

Again, I promise you all me, Traveler and the ship's computer are working to restore normality as quickly as possible."

He concluded his announcement and instructed the computer to repeat it two more times. Traveler rolled his eyes after Rædis' address.

"Very reassuring, Ræ. I'm sure that put everyone's mind at ease." he said sarcastically. He then imagined what it must sound like to hear his friend's voice throughout the giant ship. He then got the irresistible urge to make an announcement of his own. Rædis could tell by the look on Traveler's face that he really wanted to.

He sighed an electric sigh.

"Fine then. Make your own announcement.Go ahead. Say what's on yer mind." he told the man. Traveler grinned a happy grin.

"Awesome. Thanks!" he said to Rædis then instructed the computer to switch the intercom back on. Once it did, Traveler began his own speech to the small population of the worldship.

He said: "Hi everyone! Traveler here. Listen, I know there's a bit of weirdness currently going on but all of you stay calm. Help is on the way. Stay chill. Like Rædis said, we are making for normal space with all haste."

Feeling satisfied that his voice had been heard throughout the populated portions of the vessel, he told the computer to switch the intercom off then looked at his friend. "Right. Now what?" he asked.

"That's pretty much the same thing I said. You just wanted to hear your voice broadcast around the whole ship." Rædis said. Traveler smiled.

"Duh dude. Of course!" Despite their situation they both laughed. When they were done Rædis got back to business.

"Computer. Have you determined the boundaries of this bizarre left shifted space?" Rædis asked it.

"Yep." answered the computer. "I have also engaged the engines to drive us out of it as fast as we can move as well as dispatched a whole bunch of warning markers out to said boundaries for other ships so they don't fall victim to the same problem."

"Good thinking computer!" Traveler said, commending the machine on its foresight and initiative. If the thing could smile it would be.

"Thank you, Traveler. Now, let me get your collective asses out of this strange space as fast as possible before you people have to piss or something. It is going to take enough time to clean up this place as it is without having to add biological mess to the problem." said the computer. Traveler laughed at the remark.

"Good point." he said. Both friends then heard the worldship's massive motors engage and ramp up to their maximum speed as the computer began to drive them out of the 'left shift' and into a more rational region of the galaxy.