please be kind

i can take criticism, yea. i take it in as a suggestion and then i let it fester until i realize they meant it as something productive, not necessarily a change that had to be made right at that moment. then i panic and wonder how i can ever get back to the moment when i didn't know what i was doing wrong. should i have figured out my wrongs for myself? maybe i shouldn't blindly trust another's opinion - who are they to judge, anyway? or perhaps i should throw myself into the abyss of suggestion every time the opportunity arises - yet, that has made me the fool in too many situations and only brought on more criticism. the silent kind. the kind you feel in their eyes as they observe you with scorn. maybe even disgust.

i can take criticism as well as a glass floor can take people over a canyon. it works. in so many places, glass floors are chosen to protect people from a very traumatic, probably thrilling death. but all it takes is that one elephant to put his foot down hard enough, and suddenly theres blood all over the place. i can take criticism but i won't clean that up, i'm sorry.

maybe i can't take criticism. even though i often appreciate it, because i'd like to be the best version of myself, the ruminating thoughts and second-guessing that arise are proof that i can't take it. so the first half of this is a lie. i'm not a glass floor, i'm an elephant.

i think this is pretty self explanatory in how i handle criticism.