I’m tired.

and… I don’t feel right.

life was getting more tolerable and I was hopeful. But then the cord snapped and I’ve been floating away. Too tired to jump in and try to make my way back to the light and warmth of the familiar. The familiar that is now unfamiliar but still the same.

I‘m tired.

the medication is not working and my exhaustion is all consuming, I often forget to take it. what‘s the point.

I’m angry.

It was my role, my existence and now it’s just not. I don’t feel like a person anymore. Every day the fucking plan changes, everyday my life is rewritten not by me and I don’t like to be told what to do. I feel like I’m being lead by dementia onto an uncertain path. This doesn’t feel right. I was confident and comfortable and content. Now I’m scared and so very alone. What the fuck is this?

I’m tired, of being compared.

its not a competition of whose pain is more… mine is in my heart, and it’s real.

I’m scared I’m disappearing.

What is the point if I’m never here?