definitely unexpected

I got the dm on December 24th, 2021 at 6:00 PM pacific standard time.

My friend was dead.

My dear, dear friend who had dreams, aspirations, love, and beauty to share. My friend who loved to go on walks and hug trees, who chose to denounce her religion and go on a journey of enlightenment. My friend who I hadn't audibly spoken to for almost exactly a year. Was dead.

By her own hand.

I couldn't believe it. It's a joke. No, I could believe it. I did believe it. She's gone.

I can't count the tears I've shed or the regrets I've had. I can't express the pain I've felt added to my own depression and anxiety, something we talked about on a daily basis and supported one another in...

But something absolutely unexplainable. Is her voice in my head.

Some people talk of ladybugs or butterflies visiting them after a loved one has passed.

My friend decided to stick herself into my brain and not let go.

I can't tell if I'm possessed, or she has chosen to haunt me. Or, the opposite, she's decided to be my guardian angel.

But since she's passed, there she has stuck. To talk to me. Whether I like it or not.